One of our primary needs as a child is love. It’s arguably our foremost primary need, because a loving connection is what aids in our emotional and social development.
For those who grew up being raised by parents who were cold, callous, and otherwise not emotionally prepared to have a child, this weight can be quite heavy on your shoulders. While this weight is equal to unloved sons and unloved daughters, for this article we will focus on unloved daughters. But, much of the information shared could apply to either.
When we are loved and emotionally nourished properly by our parents, we grow and develop healthily and find attachment a socializing to feel safe, easy, and secure. But, when daughters grow up without a healthy and stable relationship with their primary caregiver, it can be hard to develop healthy attachments with others. In turn, as they grow up there are 8 things the unloved daughter longs for in her adulthood.
1. To belong.
One of our innermost desires as people is to feel a sense of belonging. It’s deep-rooted in our survival and instinctual selves because humanity has always depended on social circles for love, support, and survival. For the unloved daughter, who didn’t feel this support growing up, she craves it more than anything.
2. To feel safe and secure in their relationships.
Another one of our primary needs is to feel secure. Our parents are supposed to provide this sense of security to us by showing up for us and supporting us. When they don’t, their unloved daughter grows up craving that security and support, and longs for it deeply.
3. Emotional stability.
Growing up in a toxic environment is unstable, to say the least. This instability grows tiresome and weighs heavily on the central nervous system. This constant chaos can make it hard to feel emotionally stable. As the unloved daughter grows up, she wants more than anything to find that stability.
Living in constant chaos will give you a whole new perspective on the power of consistency. The thing is until she has consistency in her life, she may not even realize what it is that she needs. But consistency in any area of her life (routines, love life, etc) will help her to feel secure and to find peace in the chaos of life.
When you have a healthy childhood, it’s much easier to have faith in others and to have trust. But, for the unloved daughter, sometimes things are not that clear. Because of that, she may press others in her life for deeper clarity.
6. Her parent’s love.
When you miss out on the love of your parents, it can leave you wanting that your whole life. And you may even go to great lengths to get it. For the unloved daughter, she may spend much of her life trying to get this love. If you are an unloved daughter, please know that you are not the problem. You are worthy of love and deserve it.
7. To find closure on her past.
When you have had an incomplete or difficult past, you will likely end up wanting to find closure or to find peace. In many cases, the unloved daughter will seek this out through other relationships. Unfortunately, that may put her in even more difficult situations.
Above all, unloved daughters long for healing. And more than anything, healing is possible. It is a journey, but realizing that healing is a primary need is the beginning of the process towards it.