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When we’re dating someone, we want that person to be there for us emotionally, physically, and really leave us feeling safe in our day-to-day lives. You cannot build a life with someone who leaves you feeling as if you’re unable to be your truest self.

alone All too often people who are toxic or hiding their true intentions become someone we allow far closer than we should and that can be a very big issue. While it might suck to be alone, and you may hate the single life, settling for someone who isn’t going to be there for you or care for you properly is not the route to take. Personally, I would much rather be single and comfortable on my own than in a relationship with someone who is doing the following things.

10 Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship:

1. Someone not putting their efforts forth.

If someone isn’t willing to put their efforts into the relationship, why allow them to remain in your life? You shouldn’t put all of your efforts forward if they’re not doing the same. You are supposed to be able to work together properly.

2. Someone being emotionally closed off severely.

When you’re in a relationship, you need to be able to talk to your partner and communicate about the things happening in your lives. Everyone needs to feel accepted and comfortable. Communication is a necessity in relationships.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman is an insightful guide to improving communication in a relationship.

3. Someone hiding how they really feel.

Your partner shouldn’t be hiding things from you. The way they feel and how life is, in general, should be an open book within reason. You should feel comfortable coming to your partner, and he or she should also feel the same.

4. Someone never knowing when and how to apologize.

If your partner is not capable of apologizing to you, things are not going to go over well. You need to be able to own up to your mistakes, especially between one another, and make things right. We are only human, and we all mess up sometimes.

5. Someone refusing to show you the respect you deserve.

We all deserve respect and if you’re not being respected in your relationship, you need to close things off. Respect is not something you can compromise on, and you should never even try to do-so. We all have different things that we have to work on in life, and being respectful to those around us is something we should always be consistent on.

6. Someone being far more selfish than they should.

Selfishness is something we cannot avoid, but it has to have its limits. You should never be too selfish when it comes to your relationship. If your partner is self-less, and you’re selfish, they’re going to end up feeling far more wasted than you could ever imagine.

7. Someone always expecting you to mess up.

Your lover is supposed to be your biggest fan. He or she is supposed to believe in you more than anyone else in the world. If he or she isn’t there for you in regards to support, you’re going to feel like they don’t actually care about you. If they make you feel like they’re just waiting for your next mistake, things aren’t going to last very long at all.

8. Someone refusing to believe in you.

Your partner should be with you at your worst and believe that you are capable of getting better and doing better. If your lover is unable to see the best in you, then why would you be with him or her in the first place? You deserve to get what you give, and you should never be giving your best to someone who cannot see that.

9. Someone doing his or her best to make you feel out of place and alone.

If your partner is constantly picking at you and bringing you down, they are not worth your time. You should feel at home and comfortable in the house you share. You should not feel on edge and as if every move you make is a bad one. You deserve security just as much as everyone else.

10. Someone trying to control what you do and who you spend time with.

You are your own person, and you should never let anyone control you. If your partner is trying to dictate how you live your life and where you end up, you need to ditch them quickly. You are, as noted above, your own person. This life is yours to live how you see fit.

For those seeking guidance on establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is an invaluable resource.

In conclusion, being in a relationship should enhance your life, not detract from it. Recognizing and refusing to tolerate these negative behaviors is crucial for your well-being