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When it comes to dating or being in a serious relationship, boundaries are some of the most important things to have. Sure, we might need to get out of our comfort zones from time to time, but overall, our boundaries need to be respected and should not be overstepped.

Unhealthy relationships hold serious boundary issues, and I think that is something far more people overlook than they should. Whether you love someone or care for them in general, that does not give them a free pass for stepping all over your boundaries. The boundaries you have in life are set as they are for a reason.

In the journey towards mutual respect and understanding in a relationship, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life‘ by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is an enlightening read. This book offers valuable insights into establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected.

Below I am going to go over some of the signs that perhaps your lover or SO, in general, isn’t with you for the right reasons and doesn’t care about your boundaries at all. You should not be walked over like a toy, you are your own person. Please never forget your own importance.

11 Signs Your Partner Does Not Respect Your Boundaries:

1. They are constantly popping in on you.

Whenever you are working or trying to do something, your partner constantly comes to check on you. It’s like they think you are incapable of doing something on your own. You are criticized for taking too long, and sometimes things become quite frustrating.

2. They close the two of you off together.

Your lover wants the world to just go away. It’s basically the two of you and no one else. You don’t go out with your friends and, neither, do they. It’s like both of you have made a choice to only spend time with one another, which is never healthy.

3. The things you say are completely disregarded by your partner.

While your partner might want to speak to you, everything you say goes in one ear and out the other. When you’re frustrated and trying to open up, he or she ignores you and it hurts. This should not be happening.

For those looking to navigate the balance between caring and overprotectiveness in a relationship, ‘Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself’ by Melody Beattie can be a transformative resource. It provides strategies for recognizing and breaking free from unhealthy relationship patterns, and encourages self-care and independence.

4. They refuse to consider your opinion on anything.

When you bring concerns to your partner, he or she doesn’t take them seriously. You are not validated by your partner at all and it sucks. You feel as if he or she just doesn’t care what you have to say, ever.

5. They go through your phone and never seem to leave you alone.

Your partner is always looking at your phone and going through it, even when there is no reason to. While you might not be bothered by this, it is an invasion of privacy. If there is no need to go through it, why is it always attached to his or her hand and being dived into?

6. They give you too much space or not enough space.

When it comes to being in a relationship, we all need our own space, be it a little or a lot. This is something we discuss at the beginning, and it should be respected as time passed. If your partner is refusing to give you time or spend time with you, there are serious issues underlying.

To empower oneself in the face of self-doubt and to build confidence in decision-making, ‘The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships by Randy J. Paterson is a must-read. This workbook offers practical exercises to improve assertiveness and self-esteem in relationships and beyond.

7. They are overly protective and treat you like a child.

You are not a child, and you should not be stood over as if everything you do is wrong. You can handle yourself, and your partner should be aware of that. While help is great from time to time, you are your own person.

8. They are always doing things for you that you could easily do yourself.

Your partner helps you a bit more than he or she should because they want you to be dependent on them. Sure, doing things for one another is fine sometimes but you are not unable to fend for yourself. This can become quite irritating, to say the least.

9. They make you say ‘yes’ even when you want to say ‘no.’

When our partner’s force us into things we’ve already expressed our negativity towards, we should not allow it. Holding true to our own emotions and so forth is important when it comes to relationships. You should not be allowing anyone to trick you into things you’ve already said ‘no’ to.

10. You’re always blaming yourself for things going wrong.

You are not always to blame, and you need to realize that. You cannot constantly put blame on yourself and beat yourself down. If you had no control over the situation, you need to come to terms with that.

11. You’re constantly doubting your own decisions because of their words.

You should never doubt yourself. Sure, from time to time we might think back on things, but overall, your decisions should be your own. If you’re letting someone else push you too far, you need to work on that.