Love isn’t easy, there is no denying that fact. It is a messy, complicated, exciting, heartbreaking and challenging experience, complete with both its highs and lows. One day you may be on top of the world, and the next struggling to put the pieces of your heart back together.

It’s an experience that builds and shapes us, allowing us to discover not only what we are looking for in a partner, but also to learn some great lessons about ourselves along the way.

The key to a successful relationship is to remember that it will take work. It’s the side of relationships that they leave out in your favorite fairy-tale. After the prince and princess ride off into the sunset together, that’s where the real work begins. You need to learn to work together, to be part of a team, prioritize one another and your needs, and speak a common language. With time it will get easier, as you learn to communicate with one another better and understand your partner but be prepared for a lot of hard work out of the gate!

Which part will be the hardest? Where should you focus your attention most? That is a very individual question which will differ depending on each person’s strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you wear your heart on your sleeve and show your emotions openly, you may need to learn to put your own emotions aside long enough to recognize those of your partner. However, if you are someone who struggles to show emotion, your partner may not feel the love in your relationship as you can come across cold.

By looking at the unique personality traits that are associated with each of the zodiac signs, we can predict where someone may thrive, and where they may struggle. This is only a guideline, a starting point. Take the time to sit back and look at your own relationship to discover your own areas for growth. An honest, open conversation with your partner may be enlightening for both of you!

The Number One Relationship Lesson You Need to Learn According to Your Zodiac Sign:

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You live your life on fast-forward. With a clear view of exactly what you want, you will do whatever it takes to get there, often failing to consider the price along the way. This type of thinking may be great when you’re looking to succeed in the boardroom, but it overlooks a key building block of a successful relationship – compromise. As soon as you commit to spending your life with someone else, it’s no longer just about what you want. You need to take the time to learn your partner’s needs and desires. This isn’t to say you always give in to what they want either, it’s a give and take situation in which you both need to work with the other to find a happy common ground. Slow down once in awhile and listen to what your partner has to say.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 21)

There is one aspect of relationships that is bound to be incredibly difficult for you, and that is the concept of vulnerability. You spend much of your life protecting your self, building up barriers to ensure that you are always seen as the strong and independent one. Sure, you’re great at supporting others during their most difficult times, but when you make a connection with someone then you need to realize that this is a two-way street. Take the frightening step to lower those barriers just a little and allow your partner to see the real you that you have worked to conceal for so long. Vulnerability doesn’t mean weakness. True strength comes from owning your vulnerable side.

Gemini (May 22 – Jun 21)

Always the friendly, social individual, you just can’t help but meet new people everywhere that you go. While there is nothing wrong with expanding your social circle and meeting new friends, you may have to reassess this approach when it comes to your love life. You have no problem meeting new partners, but if you’re struggling to keep them it may be time to consider that you can be too friendly when you’re already committed. Your partner is looking for someone that is loyal to them and to their relationship, not someone who makes them fear being replaced at every turn. Don’t stop being the friendly person that you are but focus your flirtatious nature back on your partner instead of others.

Cancer (Jun 22 – Jul 22)

Emotional and sensitive, you spend most of your life worrying about the well-being of everyone else around you. You are the one in your group of friends that can always tell when something off, taking care of those that you care about. This mentality carries into your relationship as you find yourself caring for your partner’s every need at the expense of your own needs, wants and desires. A little self-sacrifice is a good thing in a relationship, but you’re not going to find happiness if you allow yourself to be treated like a doormat. There is nothing wrong with being a little selfish in your relationship from time to time, ensuring that your own needs are also met. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your natural leadership ability may put you in the driver’s seat in most areas of your life, but when it comes to your relationship you need to be willing to hand the wheel over from time to time. Relationships are a partnership, a team of two. It’s not always going to be about what you want, how you think it should go and which decision you believe is best for the team – your partner needs to have a say as well! Learn to let go of your need for control long enough to allow your partner to make decisions from time to time. This is the person you are committing to spend your life with, you should at least trust them enough to take on this leadership roll occasionally.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22)

Always the perfectionist, you have incredibly high standards in everything that you do, and your relationships are no exception. The problem with our standards is that they are often completely unrealistic. Here’s the harsh dose of reality that you are going to have to accept – there is no perfect partner out there, we all have our flaws including you. Furthermore, when you bring two flawed people together, you are never going to have a perfect relationship. Expecting that to happen is setting yourself up for failure. Learn to love yourself and your partner flaws, quirks and all. Embrace the challenges, growing and learning together. It’s not that you’re lowering your expectations, you’re simply being realistic about them.

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22)

You have a true love for beauty in all areas of your life. There’s nothing wrong with that, however, you need to learn to look past that level of connection when you are trying to create a long-term committed relationship. Beauty is going to fade; old age eventually comes for all of us. When that time comes, what connection do you have left with your partner? Do you share common interests? Have you taken the time to discover the true inner beauty that this individual brings to the table? You don’t have to feel as though you are taking physical appearance and physical attraction completely off the table, just allow yourself to expand your focus to go deeper and include more.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 22)

Incredibly passionate about everything that you do and care about, you often find this passion leading to arguments and disagreements with those around you. There are times that this is completely justified – laws would never be changed and repealed if it were not for passionate people who are willing to stand up and fight for their beliefs. Within your relationship, however, you need to learn to recognize that there is a time and a place for everything, and not every fight is worth fighting. No one wants to stay in a relationship where they are arguing day in and day out. Allow yourself to take a step back and reassess whether each situation is worth it. Fight for those that are and let go of the smaller disagreements that aren’t.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21)

Your life is built on excitement and adventure, with one foot always out the door and your eyes on the next experience. While this has provided you with a great opportunity to try new things and genuinely live life, it’s not the most conducive mindset if you are looking to build a lasting relationship. Rest assured, if you have one foot out the door your partner is well aware, and it’s going to impact their level of commitment as well! If you want to build a successful, lasting relationship you need to take the frightening step of commitment and focus your attention on this one individual. Step into your relationship with both feet rather than spending your time and energy on checking out what else is out there. You’ve got something incredible right in front of your eyes.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20)

Your time and energy are generally focused on the more tangible and practical areas of your life. You would rather be planning your monthly budget and scheduling the week ahead than worrying yourself about something as silly as emotions, right? Unfortunately, those emotions are the important foundation upon which a successful relationship is built. Your partner needs to feel as though they are a priority, and your relationship is a priority. This will require you putting some solid time into the emotional side of your life, expressing how you feel and building upon the connection that you have created. It may not always seem important to you, but it’s important to them and that should move it up the priority list.

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 18)

Quirky and unique, there is no arguing the fact that you are truly one of a kind. There is no one else out there that is quite like you, and this has allowed you to build a healthy ego when it comes to your relationships. You expect that you will find someone who not only embraces your quirks but is truly unique in and of themselves and when they don’t quite fit these expectations you get bored and you’re out the door. While individuality is key, try lowering your standards a little to love ALL sides of their personality – the crazy and the more normal parts. A healthy balance of the two can provide you with the stability your relationship needs while also maintaining the creative excitement that you crave.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Known for being the most romantic of the signs, you have spent much of your life daydreaming about your idea of true love. These expectations are often built on fairy-tales and romance movies, which, unfortunately, means they are likely a little off the mark when it comes to being realistic. I’m sorry to be the one that has to burst your bubble, but you’re likely not going to be swept off your feet by a handsome prince on his white steed, ready to whisk you away to his castle to live your life of luxury. Life is messy and difficult, you will face challenges and your relationship will, at times, struggle. This is normal, and this is okay. Embrace the trying times, and allow yourself to learn and grow through them, they will make you a strong person, and allow you to build an even more solid relationship.