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Gaslighters, narcissists, and other toxic personalities will enter your life, and ruin it eventually if allowed to. And the thing is, they are quite deceptive, and masters of manipulation, so they are difficult to spot.

narcissist gaslighter

However, there are common signs that will tell you, if you know what to look for.

This person constantly goes between ignoring you, and giving you their undivided attention.

In order to keep you around, narcissists will shower you with love and attention. Then, out of nowhere, you are emotionally discarded, leaving you wanting more. In turn, you will feel addicted to them.

Understanding these behaviors is crucial, and there are resources available that can provide strategies for dealing with toxic individuals. In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People” by George K. Simon Ph.D. is an insightful book that delves into the tactics of manipulation and how to protect yourself from them.

You feel like you are going crazy.

You know that they have been abusing you, and manipulating you, but then again, do you? You constantly feel like your sense of reality must be distorted but this isn’t the case with other people.

They have a grandiose sense of self.

They are always right, no matter what, and nothing is ever their fault. Whether it is in regards to you, to work, with their family – they are always number one and cannot do no wrong.

For those who may be struggling with the aftermath of such relationships, Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse” by Shannon Thomas LCSW provides a roadmap for healing and reclaiming your life.

They blow up about the weirdest things.

Out of nowhere, they will go into a rage that is unmatched by Satan himself. Oftentimes, because of this, you will feel as though you are walking on eggshells.

They lie constantly.

No matter what, even if you have proof of their lie, they will continue to stand by their lie.

They deny all the wrongs they do.

Every time you try to approach them regarding their behaviors, they deny everything they did. They may even ask you to prove it, knowing that only your memory is proof of their assault.

They are charming.

On the outside, this person appears to be everything you could ever wish for and more, but as you get to know them – it becomes clear that this certainly isn’t the case.

They use your fears against you.

If you confide in them, they use it against you. And eventually, if you are around one long enough, during the flatter and value stage of the relationship, they will get you to open up. And once you do, prepare for it to be twisted.

Lastly, gaining a broader perspective on narcissistic behavior can be achieved by reading Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself” by Shahida Arabi, which offers practical advice on disengaging from a narcissist’s grip.