A ‘gentleman’ can be described as one of good conduct. A man who is polite and courteous, putting the needs and well being of others ahead of himself at all times. He is well mannered and well spoken in all situations, seemingly always knowing the right thing to say to diffuse negativity and set the energy right.
The concept of the gentleman as we know it today dates back to the Victorian times. While some may believe that the term was merely a title given based on social class, the term had a far deeper meaning. David Cody, an associate professor of English at Hartwick College explains: “There was also a moral component inherent in the concept which made it difficult and an ambiguous thing for the Victorians themselves to attempt to define, though there were innumerable attempts, many of them predicated upon the revival in the nineteenth century of a chivalric moral code derived from the feudal past.”
While some may believe that the time of chivalry and a true gentleman is behind us, others still hold onto the promise that our knight in shining armour is out there somewhere. Regularly portrayed in our favourite romance novels and television shows, the image of the gentleman is alive and well and I have good news for you – they really do exist today!
Do you believe you found a true gentleman? Watch for these 22 signs:
He will never raise a hand to a woman.
A true gentleman is 100% focused on protecting the women in his life. As such, the idea of laying a hand on a woman contradicts everything that he believes in. Outside of extreme circumstances (and I acknowledge that they may exist, there is an exception to every rule), they will never raise a hand to any woman that they encounter.
He has proper table manners.
You don’t have to be worried about going out somewhere to eat, a gentleman knows how to be appropriate in any setting – whether you are attending a laid-back backyard BBQ or enjoying dinner at a fine dining establishment.
He always waits for everyone to be served before eating.
Whenever you go out to a restaurant a true gentleman will wait for everyone at the table to receive their meal before taking that first bite. This demonstrates patience, courtesy and respect for those that he is eating with.
He offers you his jacket when it’s cold.
The biggest priority at any given time for a gentleman is to ensure that you are happy, comfortable and safe. If the weather drops and you are cold, he will sacrifice his own comfort in order to keep you warm.
He never tells a lie.
Regardless of how big or small it may be, a true gentleman will never tell a lie. He highly values honesty and isn’t willing to compromise that regardless of what he may have to gain from it.
He is never rude to others.
A true gentleman will always rise up to be the bigger man, even if he is in a situation where he is dealing with someone that is rude or attacking. He shows emotional intelligence, aware that he can control his emotions rather than allow his emotions to control him.
He opens the doors for you.
Whether you are walking into a building, or he is helping you into a vehicle, a gentleman will always hold the door for a woman and allow them to go first.
He always gets things accomplished.
A gentleman knows that there are always things that need to be done and he is quick to offer his assistance to help you with these odds and ends. Anything from fixing the car to cooking dinner, caring from the kids to walking the dog. He is always quick to offer a helping hand.
He offers your arm when you are walking.
When you are out walking with your gentleman he is always quick to offer his arm, leading you arm-in-arm towards your destination.
His heart is always in the right place.
Regardless of whether his actions are entirely successful in their execution, you know that everything that he does comes from a well-meaning and heartfelt place. His intentions are 100% genuine.
He helps you to be seated.
If you go to take your seat, for example at a restaurant, a real gentleman will not only pull the chair out for you, but he will then help you to move in closer to the table once you are seated.
He offers to pick up the check.
Any time that you go out with a true gentleman he will offer to pick up the check. This doesn’t mean that he always has to pay – he also respects your right to exercise your independence if you should choose to do so.
He takes pride in his appearance.
While a gentleman isn’t self-centred or overly focused on his pride, he does recognize that his appearance is of importance. He keeps his hair properly styled, his facial hair well maintained and his clothing is always appropriate for the setting.
He is always on time.
Early is on time, on time is late. A gentleman doesn’t want to leave anyone waiting on him and he isn’t interested in wasting anyone’s time.
He is attentive to you, paying attention to you when you speak.
A gentleman understands that there are different types of listening. While many people in today’s society merely listen for the chance to reply, a gentleman actively listens to understand.
He is always polite and courteous.
A true gentleman will never forget to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and to show the utmost respect for everyone that they encounter.
A gentleman always keeps his word.
If he says he is going to do something or be somewhere, you can count on it! A gentleman understands that his word is binding, and he refuses to go back on it.
He positions himself closest to the curb when walking.
One of the things that a gentleman is always focused on is your safety and well-being. When you are walking down the road he will position himself between you and any potential threat.
He can keep a secret.
When you share a secret with a gentleman you can ensure that your information isn’t going anywhere. He is a locked down vault, impossible to break through regardless of how good they may be.
He offers his seat up to others in need.
A gentleman will never put his own comfort before that of others. If he is on a bus, park bench, at a conference or ceremony, then he will ensure that everyone else is comfortable, giving up his seat for a woman, an elderly person, or anyone that may look like they may be injured.
He makes you a priority in his life.
A true gentleman doesn’t just ‘find’ time for you, he makes time for you in his life. He shows interest in the things that you enjoy – including your hobbies, favourite shows and more. He truly wants to get to know you.
He does not kiss and tell.
A gentleman never tells – he is interested in sharing those special moments with you because he wants to experience it with you, not because he wants to brag about it to his buddies tomorrow.