Dealing with a narcissist is never easy, but sometimes we figure out ways that really help. Sure, they might seem generous and helpful at first, but once their true colors begin to show, you have to be quick on your feet.
For those consistently dealing with narcissistic personalities, the Navigating Narcissistic Relationships: A Guidebook can offer a deeper understanding and actionable strategies.
Below, I am going to go over some of the best things to say to shut down a narcissist. These things will stop him or her in their tracks. While it may seem a bit confrontational, the way you say these things will make a world of a difference and really put the force you need to put out there.
These phrases are going to be very effective in combating the narcissist. I have found they work especially well for the narcissists we cannot completely avoid. For instance, the ones we work with or have to come in contact with on a frequent basis.
11 Comebacks You Can Use to Shut Down The Narcissist Right Away:
1. “I will believe it when I see it.”
The narcissist is always saying one thing and doing another. They will promise you the world, but never truly give it to you. When they say something you know they will not follow through with, this should be your response.
2. “Let’s stay on topic, please.”
The narcissist will always want to change the topic, and when they do this, you should remind them what topic you were speaking about. Reminding them of the topic at hand removes their power over the conversation. If something needs to be talked about, make sure that it is.
Saying no to the narcissist is not necessarily always easy, but it is necessary. Say no when you need to. Don’t feel compelled to do what they want you to all the time.
4. “I will not make that mistake twice, sorry.”
The narcissist will try to fool you time and time again. If you assert that, you have already learned your lesson and are not going to let them manipulate you again, you will get much further. This shuts them down directly, all the while making them realize they are not as cunning as they think they are.
For those aiming to establish healthier boundaries, the Understanding and Setting Boundaries Workbook can be a useful tool in this journey.
5. “I will make my own decision.”
The narcissist will try and make your decisions for you, but you should never let them. Always remind them that you will make your own decision. Don’t let them take advantage of you.
6. “You do not scare me.”
The narcissist always wants to come off as scary or intimidating. Don’t let them do that to you. Always let them know that you are not concerned with them.
7. “I am not the one in the wrong here.”
Remember that you are not the one in the wrong. The narcissist will always want to turn things against you. Unless you are the one making a mistake, don’t let shit get flipped. They should not be allowed to constantly play the victim.
8. “Slow down, please.”
Asking them to slow down is not a bad thing. They try to speed things up to catch you in a trap. If you’re not sure what they are saying, politely ask them to repeat themselves.
9. “The world does not revolve around you.”
When the narcissist is angry and upset over something that you could not help, this is what needs to be said. Never let them think their needs come before your own. Your needs matter.
10. “No, I am determined and assertive.”
When the narcissist is calling you sensitive or overly emotional, make sure to let them know you are not. You are assertive and standing your ground. There is nothing wrong with persisting in the manner you are.
11. “I’m not doing this right now.”
If the narcissist is being overly aggressive and really getting under your skin, sometimes the best thing to do is walk away. Simply let them know you are not going to do this right now and go about your business. Do not give them power by feeding into what they have going on.
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