Toxic love is sadly one of the most common forms of love. It comes from a place of insecurity and doesn’t do anyone any favors.
The more attached we get to the wrong people, the more toxic our environment becomes. Toxic people will cling to you for as long as you allow them to, and they will drain you of your happiness, whether you think you’re allowing it or not. Toxic relationships are built on shaky foundation and often crumble time and time again.
Below, I am going to go over some of the signs that you might be in a toxic relationship/signs that your partner is toxic. If these signs are present in your current situation, you might really need some change. Toxic relationships are not good for anyone involved and should be moved on from as quickly as possible, even if it hurts.
13 Signs Your Partner Is Toxic and Will Drain You Of Your Happiness:
1. They don’t make you a priority.
I am sorry to say thing, but if they are not making you a priority now, they never will. You need to be held on the same standard you hold your partner, and if they refuse to give you that then you should move on. You deserve more than what you are being offered. “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men“ by Lundy Bancroft is an essential read for anyone looking to understand the underpinnings of toxic and controlling behavior, especially in male partners.
2. They always make out like their mistakes are yours.
Their mistakes are not yours, and they need to own up to the things they do and say. You are not a doormat and should not be treated as such. Toxic people will always want to bring down the people closest to them.
3. They have serious double standards.
Toxic people tend to think it is okay for them to do certain things, but they refuse to let their significant others do the same. You might want to go spend time with your friends while your lover is off with his or her friends, but they will throw a fit if you mention it. They just don’t see you as a human, they see you as property.
They will not respect your boundaries and will always be doing and forcing you into things you do not want to do. Many uncomfortable situations will arise from this, and it should NOT be happening! “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life“ by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is an invaluable resource for those struggling to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.
5. They are always making you feel bad.
Toxic people will always work to bring their partners down. They do not build up the people they surround themselves with, they tear them apart. When you’re feeling good, they will make sure to ruin the mood. Why? Because it brings them a special form of pleasure.
6. They lie a lot.
For some reason, toxic people love to lie. They will lie about things that do not matter and go the extra mile to make you feel bad. You just can’t trust them, even when you want to with all your heart.
7. They refuse to give you personal space.
A toxic person would never allow you to have your own space. When you have your own space you have time to think, and if you think you might decide to leave them behind. They just love to cross boundaries, and if you do things on your own (without their consent) they will become very angry.
Toxic people love to have control, not just over you, but over everything in their lives. Having that kind of control is the ultimate superpower to them! They want to be able to get you to do the things they need you to. If they cannot control you, they will simply cut ties. “The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond“ by Patricia Evans offers insight into the patterns of verbal abuse and provides strategies for responding to and breaking free from toxic communication.
9. They don’t listen to you or care about your needs.
Toxic people will not listen to you or your needs. They are far too self-oriented to worry with you and the things that you want. They will only care about themselves, even after you’ve been together for years.
10. They do not want you to grow as a person and hold you back.
Toxic people do not want to see you grow as a person, they want you to stay the same and be exactly as you are. They chose you because they thought you were weak, becoming strong would be a major setback for them.
These kinds of people might withhold pleasure from you or use it to gain power over you in general. They know what is going on and will through any means get their power where it needs to be.
12. They never compromise on anything.
Toxic people do not compromise. They are very ‘my way or the highway’ kinds of people. Sure, it might not seem too bad at first, but as time passes it will become unbearable. “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself“ by Melody Beattie is a transformative book that delves into the nature of codependency and offers guidance on fostering self-care and independence.
Toxic people want the most from the people in their lives. If you cannot do something for them, they will push you until you make it happen. They have extremely unrealistic expectations.