If you’ve ever had to fight for a relationship, then you know exactly how exhausting that can be. And because as humans we desire to be loved so much and to feel connected, we often find ourselves desperately clinging to it, even when it isn’t right for us.

Many of us will find that when we leave a relationship, our first notion is to replace it with a new one. Loneliness seems so scary that we would do anything to avoid it. And in many cases, anything includes staying with someone that simply isn’t right for us.

But, I am here to tell you, you would be better off single than in a relationship you have to fight tooth and nail to keep.

Being single is better than being with someone who doesn’t value you. Or being with someone that doesn’t put forth any effort. Too often in my own life, I clung desperately to people that I loved in relationships that did everything I told myself I would never put up with.

I’ve been cheated on, strung along, ignored, and talked down to. I’ve had relationships where I knew deep down in my core that we had nothing in common, no ground to stand on, and kept pushing anyway.

After an eight-year-long relationship that I fought with everything I had to keep, I learned one simple truth: it’s much better to be single than to be with someone that you have to fight for.

I am not saying that relationships don’t have struggles. But when all your relationship becomes struggles, then something is not right.

In the meantime, you risk your sanity, your sense of self-worth, and weeks, months, or even years with someone who wasn’t right, when the right person was still out there waiting to come into contact with you.

While it may seem admirable or even romantic to wait for someone to align with you, and magically become the perfect mate, I am telling you it’s a waste of time. You are worthy of love, of respect, and of a relationship that you can settle into.

In the meantime, don’t settle for anything less. And enjoy the time you get to be single. Being single isn’t the worst thing that can happen, being with someone that makes you feel lonelier than you do when you are alone is much worse.

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