Skip to main content

In relationships, it’s normal for the initial spark to begin to die down. However, during the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to lose sight of the people we love and their inherent needs. Because of this, it’s important to stay attuned.

Hear me out, I am not an anti-feminist who believes that every woman should be waiting for her husband to arrive home from work, with a smile on her face and a sandwich and a beer. Additionally, I understand that as females, our hormones ebb and flow, causing our needs to differ from that of a male.

Men inherently need sex on a much different level than we do. Science has shown that time and time again. Their brains are wired differently than ours, and that is a simple scientific fact.

If you have a good husband, who loves you unconditionally, is a true partner, is faithful and who would do anything to make you happy, and there is nothing wrong with you, give him what he needs.

As long as you are physically able, why wouldn’t you? Yes, maybe you do feel tired. Or maybe you would rather read a good book, or binge-watch your favorite Netflix show. But, is it that bad to put those things on hold for a brief period, and have intimacy with your man?

And while women’s libidos ebb and flow, and even men’s do, I heard a really good sex therapist say once that in many cases, we aren’t always intimately motivated just by the thought. A lot of times, it takes actively engaging in the act of intimacy (foreplay) to get ourselves started.

At worst, you would have done something that was mildly inconvenient for you but made your husband feel satisfied. But on the bright side, once you get started, you most likely will enjoy yourself.

Now, I would like to clarify, there is a difference between need and want. If your husband thinks he needs to have intimacy three times a day, well that is simply him being a sex-crazed maniac. I mean, if you are down for it too, that’s great. But I think there is a common-sense approach to all of this.

Of course, there will be days when you don’t want to be intimate. And that’s okay too! But, when you continuously shut him down when he is trying to have that time with you, until the point of never having that time, you are doing a disservice not only to your man but also to yourself and your relationship.

If you have a good man, and he wants to do the deed, but sometimes you aren’t up for it, I would pick and choose your battles wisely here. And as I said above, use common sense. I’m by no means saying women are just slaves to their husband’s desires, but relationships are made of compromise and intimacy is necessary.

I am just a firm believer that if one of my husband’s (and my own) most basic primal needs are bedroom intimacy, I want to make sure those needs are being met and satisfied. And really, your relationship quality overall will increase dramatically with more intimate encounters.