At the beginning of a relationship, everything seems perfect. Because we are experiencing the initial spark and infatuation, we see each other through rose-colored glasses, and there isn’t anything wrong with that in most cases.
The thing is, that is not reality. Not to say that people don’t view their partners in higher regard than they view others, but as time goes on, that spark does begin to die down. Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘honeymoon phase?’ There’s a reason for the use of this phrase.
Unfortunately, though, that phase does not last forever. And as it begins to come to a halt, our true selves begin to slip through more and more. We stop holding back when we feel a difference with our partners. We become more vocal about our opinions, and all of those little things we thought were so cute about our partner or quirky begin to annoy us just a tiny bit.
Some mistake this as a bad thing, when in reality, it’s just a normal part of being a human being with another human being. No two people are ever going to get along all of the time. If they did, something is wrong.
And when you think about it, arguing is a sign of a healthy relationship. Before you run to the comments to tell me how stupid I am, hear me out. First and foremost, there is a difference between a disagreement or an argument in which you are fighting FOR the relationship. In some cases, people will fight to be right (for their ego) and this is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
Arguing with your partner or disagreeing with them, because you are unhappy in the relationship and want to resolve the issues is a sign of a healthy and still thriving relationship. It means you still care enough to want to try to fight for it.
Conversely, the ultimate sign of a relationship that is knocking on death’s door is a relationship in which the two people together stop fighting. When two people stop talking, quit arguing, and stop caring enough to not even try to fight for the relationship anymore, it’s a bad sign.
If you’ve never been in a long-term relationship that came to a screeching halt, then you likely don’t understand where I am coming from. Once upon a time, I would have disagreed with this as well. But, in hindsight, and speaking from the experience of working with people in struggling relationships, if the couple is still arguing, they are still communicating and no matter how bad things are, there is still hope.
What do you think?