When you uncover the fact that someone in your life is wearing a mask and is not who they appear to be, it can be quite devastating but what can be even more devastating is what comes after you uncover a narcissist.
When the narcissistic people in our lives realize that we have figured them out, things get worse before they get better and that’s something that we should all keep in mind moving forward. Now, before diving into this topic for those who are not aware narcissists are people with narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is basically a mental condition of which those affected tend to have quite the ego and are often very attention-seeking. These people do not usually care about other people and only want to use others for their own personal gain.
Now, when we realize someone is a narcissist and they also realize that we have figured them out, their illusion is no longer something they are capable of maintaining. This will send them into a frenzy and leave you attacked be it verbally or otherwise. Narcissists in this sense will do their best to bring out the worst in you and from there dodge any and all accountability. They will attempt to convince you that you’re the one in the wrong and if they cannot get you back under their control, things will go south quickly.
The more you call them out the more the narcissist will be triggered as a whole Melanie Tonai Evans wrote as follows on her website in regards to this kind of thing:
The narcissist has no intention of being accountable, pinned down or remorseful. The harder you try to get accountability, and make a narcissist act with decency, integrity, and consideration, the more he or she will push back, tormenting you even more.
Narcissists are the epitome of the mirror reflecting back to us a BIG Quantum wake-up call.
The complete false premise that we can change other people to make ourselves feel better.
Quantum Law – so within, so without – means we can only change our inner state in relation to what is happening in our outer world. We need to adjust and up-level from our own traumas and belief systems that are generating what is going on in our life. And then, when we do this, people will either rise up to join us at our new established boundaries and truth, or we leave the experience to go our separate ways into experiences that are our truth.
The longer we stay stuck righteously in trying to change a narcissist to get a change in our own emotional state and life, the more we get the true results of this Quantum Truth which is:
‘When I deny my own development and hold others responsible for my Self and Life – nothing changes. I only get more of my traumatized state.’
While calling the narcissist out might be what you want to do, it is not always something you should do. Sometimes you should consider the situation at hand and cut your losses depending on how things are playing out. You’re not letting them win by walking away, you’re just limiting damage and allowing yourself to heal.
As soon as you begin showing the narcissist what he or she is doing to you, you need to be aware that depending on the person rage may become something they are unable to control. They will place blame on you for the anger they’re feeling and this could end up with you being hurt badly, if your narcissist is physically violent, you should not waste your time confronting them but instead cut ties completely and do what is best for you.
The less control the narcissist has over you the more they are going to become volatile and perhaps in many ways explosive. For more information on this please check out the video below. If these things are present in some kind of connection you’re dealing with, you need to get out and make sure you’re distanced properly.
You don’t want to upset your narcissist, you if you want to be protected properly need to make sure the break in contact is as clean and clear as it possibly can be. As soon as the narcissist sees that you’re aware of what they are, they will begin doing any and everything they can to pull you back in or find someone else to latch onto. Your wellbeing matters and you need to keep this in mind when it comes to breaking free from these toxic people.