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No one sets out to get married, only to divorce, but divorce still happens for a multitude of reasons. Did you know that 70% of U.S. divorces are initiated by the wife?

Divorce is hard. Knowing when to walk away is even harder. It’s a very difficult decision to make and must wait a long time before finally saying that enough is enough. On a Reddit post, one user asked, “Divorcees of Reddit, when did you know your marriage was over?” For this article, I have picked out 9 Reddit users who are female, who describe the experiences they had that ultimately led to divorce.

1. kGlover14 says

When my son(1.5 years old)comforted me while I was crying after another abusive argument. I knew then I did not want him growing up thinking that was a normal relationship.

2. ToasyToastersToast says

I found out I was pregnant close to our 5th wedding anniversary. When I asked what he wanted for our anniversary, he said an abortion. When I miscarried 3 weeks later, he threw a party for it. The irony of it all is that we got a divorce because he knocked up another chick that refused to abort because she was catholic and needed to be married to him, so the child would not be a bastard. He is miserable in another marriage and I have been happily divorced for 6 years now.

3. mammatbone says

When our therapist told him to spend a day not talking to me unless he had something nice to say, and he replied, “but what if I need to give her feedback?”

4. SomewhereinOregon says

When we were in a counseling session, and the counselor asked me why I was so unhappy. I said it felt like I was the one to have to make the adjustments, compromises and sacrifices, our entire marriage. While my ex refused to give up anything.

She said that was a powerful statement but probably not accurate, then turned to my ex and asked how he felt about what I said. He just shrugged and said, she’s right. I didn’t feel the need to sacrifice anything. And she always gave in.

No apologies. No offer to make changes. Just said it would be more of the same.

5. boundaryguru says

When we planned, who would get what if we divorced. We were so casual about it, but it told us we both knew we wouldn’t last. It certainly made divorce very easy when it finally did happen. The actual divorce happened because he got another woman pregnant, and she offered to pay for our divorce, so she could marry him.

6. [deleted] says

When our power was shut off, but he had just purchased a new “fun” car for himself-three weeks after totaling his other “fun” car. I had no idea we were so behind on the bills because he insisted on always being in charge of finances since I “just stayed home and didn’t work”.

I opened up my own bank account the next day and put 20 dollars he had given me for groceries in it. Started cleaning houses during the day while my mom watched my kids. Left six months later.

7. FurledScroll says

When I caught him trying to throw a metal folding chair at our oldest child.

8. webuiltthisschmitty says

Memorial Day Weekend 2017 we went to visit his parents up north. We were having a great time and playing a silly drinking game. Literally nothing but laughter and cheers all around. We all got pretty drunk, but I remember there were no bad vibes. Just chilling and swapping stories during our game.

I went to bed first, and he came upstairs later and woke me up to tell me what a waste of space I was and how fucking terrible I was to be around because of my ADHD and the weight I had gained (he was not fit by any means either). He said he hated me and wished I was dead. I remember sobbing myself to sleep, but when I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t sure it was real because he acted like nothing happened.

I let it go until we got home from the trip a few days later and took our suitcases upstairs. I was exhausted and said I’d unpack in the morning, and he said, “this is the shit I’m talking about. You’re so fucking lazy.”

I endured so many of his outbursts and supported him through so many dark moments in his life, and never got the same in return. I helped put him through college, but he couldn’t stand to have dinner with my family once a month. And my family is chill af – it’s not like some nightmare hellscape of in-laws.

I asked for a divorce in a crowded restaurant. When we got home, I was packing a bag and I had my video running the whole time in my pocket. He threw one of those little Target folding papasan chairs at me and told me I was crazy, and I’d never find anyone to love me.

Well, I did – and it was me. I lost 60lbs (and another 200lbs) and I learned how to manage my ADHD a little better. I feel good.

9. imaginaryfriendgirl says

When after my double mastectomy, the doctor recommended that we sleep in separate beds for 6 weeks, so I could heal. After the six weeks, I said I was going to sleep in the master with him, and he told me not to bother since I wasn’t really a woman anymore. We’d been married less than a year.