Sometimes people will dislike you no matter what you do, and most of the time without reason. Even the kindest people stumble upon people who oppose them or their ideas. But how do you turn a foe into fried?
Psychology offers us a powerful tool that you can use to make anybody your friend! Or if you are a person who likes to keep your friends close and your enemies closer this can also help you. You might not like them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be useful to you or at least kept at bay.
How To Make Your Foes Love You!
This simple psychological trick is called “The Benjamin Franklin Effect”. The Benjamin Franklin Effect goes like this:
When we do a favor for another person, we tend to like them more as a result. This is because we justify our actions to ourselves that we did them a favor because we liked them.
As Benjamin Franklin said, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another that he whom you yourself have obliged.”
The reverse effect is also true, and we come to hate our victims, which also explains wartime atrocities. We de-humanize the enemy, which decrease the dissonance of killing and other things in which we would never normally indulge.
How Do You Apply This Trick In Everyday Life?
That is simple! Find a person you might think is your foe or a person who does not have your best interest at heart. Ask them to do you a favor.
Ask them for a small favor that they simply cannot refuse. This favor can be as small as asking to borrow a cup of sugar or a book, or simply for advice that only they can give. When they oblige, make sure to give them an honest “Thank You”. In person is always best, but you can call or send them a message if that is not possible.
Why Does It Work?
When we do something good for others, even something small, our minds automatically start seeing them as a friend.
Even if we see them as a rival, if we do them a favor we feel more connected to them. You will no longer see them as a stranger, but as someone, we once helped.