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In life, when we set out to find love, none of us ever intend for those relationships to fail. On the contrary, we all want nothing more than for our relationships to flourish. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen.

When a relationship fails, it’s a painful experience. It can bring up many difficult emotions and thoughts, and even regrets. You may think back on what you could have done differently. Or, you may think back to all the red flags you missed.

In one Reddit post, user Fwhatyoulike posed the question, “What’s your biggest regret from a failed relationship?” and the responses he got varied from one extreme to the next. Below, I have listed the ones I thought were the most notable.

1. User HWPO719 writes,

Not trying hard enough. Lost a good girl. Looking back it’s kinda sad to see her go from me being her everything to not caring at all at the end.

2. Chudboy writes,

Not showing my feelings and being more affectionate/comfortable. I was insecure and nervous about why this person wanted to be with me, and felt as though I pushed them away a little bit.

3. Stiletteaux writes,

I betrayed her trust. I didn’t listen, learn, or grow enough to deserve her. She communicated what her needs were and instead of trusting her, I let my fears, insecurities, and impulses drive dishonest behavior. Knowing more about why I’m this way and seeking to improve it…loving myself…it all seems empty right now. She’s the greatest woman I’ve ever met. I had her love…and I betrayed her trust.

4. BeigePhilip writes,

That I didn’t end it sooner. I hung on for more than 10 years after I knew I didn’t want to be there anymore. After all, I promised, right? Forever means forever. Bullshit. Don’t be miserable for the benefit of someone else. Not only did I waste a decade of my life, I wasted a decade of hers as well. Obviously, don’t make a rash decision, but if you’re going into year 2 of wanting out of a relationship, just go. It may be hard on the person you’re leaving, but it will only be harder if you put it off. Don’t wait until you’re contemplating The Big Sleep. Go, and be happy, and let your soon to be ex be happy as well, with someone else.

5. Xany2 writes,

That I didn’t do therapy then to get my shit together. If I did that, I would have saved it

6. Easy-Progress8252 writes,

That I didn’t communicate my feelings sooner, that I put in way more than 50% effort too often, and that it took me years to learn how to get over someone.

7. TheAnonymousDoom writes,

Not saying “enough” sooner. We have been seperated for over two years now, but I’m still dealing with the mental and emotional abuse. Never again

8. NFTsAreDumb writes,

I didn’t stick it out. The going got rough for a little because of my stress/anxiety, and I bailed thinking it would make me happier. That was 3 months ago, still trying to fix what I’ve done.

9. Crystalistwo writes,

Took a good girl for granted. I was young. I certainly didn’t hold up my end of the relationship. It’s probably pretty good it ended before it got bad bad, and it would have been all my fault. Found her on facebook about 10 years ago. She’s doing well. I’m very happy for her.

10. SnooRevelations1844 writes,

The way I treated her, and the way I spoke to her. I just wish I could go back and say sorry, that was 1999, still haunts me to this day.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/ssxcrg/whats_your_biggest_regret_from_a_failed/