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Emotional trauma is something that can mess with your mind on a giant level. It will leave you wondering what you did wrong and where the hell you should go from there.

For those seeking to understand and heal from emotional trauma in relationships, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. offers profound insights into the effects of trauma and pathways to recovery.

If you notice your partner doing these things to you, get out of the relationship and find someone worth your time.

1. He becomes extremely upset when you confront him about his behavior.

While you are the real victim, if you try to bring problems up he will do whatever it takes to make himself out to be the victim.

2. He is moody and unpredictable.

This can leave you walking on eggshells, and it happens far more often than it should.

3. He makes fun of you in front of other people.

This is humiliating and makes you feel like sh!t. He does this because he wants to make sure you feel as small as possible. This is a means of keeping you under his wing.

To empower readers who may feel belittled in their relationships, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft provides an in-depth look at abusive behavior and strategies for dealing with it.

4. He compares you to other women.

This can happen with people you pass in town that neither of you knows or even women from his past relationships, and it makes you feel awful. He is a big bully and will stop at nothing to bring you down.

5. When you tell him something bothers you, he tries to pretend that he was joking.


6. He blames you for everything.

He will never admit when he is wrong.

7. He will always point out the things he dislikes about you.

8. He always tells you the things you are doing wrong, even if it is something you can’t control.

9. He brings up your past mistakes more often than he should.

You make mistakes just like a normal human being does, and he will not let you live them down.

For guidance on moving past mistakes and self-forgiveness, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha” by Tara Brach can be a helpful resource for healing and personal growth.

10. He doesn’t want you to pursue your dreams.

11. He calls his obsessive and possessive jealousy ‘love.’

It is not love.

12. He doesn’t like your friends or family.

This is because he wants to cut you off from them.

13. He does not want you to talk about your relationship with anyone other than him.

This being because he doesn’t want others to see what he is doing.

14. He is always trying to get you to cancel plans with friends and family to spend time with him.

He wants you to spend all your time with him so that you lose contact with everyone else.

15. He gets mad when you go against what he wants.

Whether it is something big or something small, if you don’t listen to him, he will be upset.

To assist those who are struggling to leave unhealthy relationships, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can–and Should–be Saved” by Lundy Bancroft and JAC Patrissi offers practical advice and support.

If you notice your partner doing these things to you, get out of the relationship and find someone worth your time.