While many people do not realize it, losing a child is one of the most painful things that someone can go through in this life. It’s not something you are ever prepared for and even if you already know it’s coming it breaks your heart in all ways possible.
It goes against the natural order of things, mothers are meant to bring their children up not put them in the ground. But the sad truth is, sometimes these things just happen. You feel your child moving inside you, you connect and bond with them and one day they are just… gone.
Losing a child is not something that many other people will ever understand. They ask you if you have children and you say yes, because you do and when they ask their names or ages and find out the truth they just sort of fade out and look down awkwardly. Many others expect you to just be able to move on or if your child dies before you get the chance to meet him or her they expect you to be fine but you’re not fine and you never will be, not in the ways they want you to be.
Just because you never got the chance to meet your child before he or she passed doesn’t mean that you were not already head over heels in love with him or her. You mourn this kind of loss on a level far more intensely than most can comprehend and that for a lot of reasons sometimes makes your pain deemed invisible even though it’s not invisible to you.
When you’ve lost a child it takes a lot to get out of bed, to eat, to do anything but sit and cry wishing the things that happened had never occurred. You will do your best to move through life as if everything is okay, and sometimes it might be, but deep down inside it is always there. It bubbles just below the surface waiting to break out at the slightest hint of a memory. You will curse whatever higher being you believe in and beg them to take you back to before all of this happened and make things better but that doesn’t happen. There is no going back and there is no changing what has happened.
If and when you get pregnant again, people will look at you as if this is just the answer to all of your problems. You are okay now, right? Wrong. This is a new kind of pain and confusion. You try to be happy but always end up feeling guilty as if you are doing something wrong. You have the immense love inside your heart for your newest addition, but also immense pain at the thought of the one you have lost. This pain, as much as you try, will never go away.
Living with this kind of loss is hell and it’s can make so many other problems quite present in our lives. It takes years to even begin to move on from this kind of thing and work to heal but even then the healing comes at a very slow pace. The journey you face when you lose a child is one of the most lonely and devastating journey’s you can face as a human in this world.
The women who lose their babies or children and still continue to live in this world are far stronger than anyone else in this world. They have known love on it’s most intense level and lost it all the while somehow being able to still breathe each day. They are left with a lot of hurting and a lot of questioning, but they are powerful.
They are capable of getting through anything this world throws at them if they are able to get through this. These women are incredible and capable of so much more than they might realize at the moment. While they are going to be facing serious lows for a long time the highs they find once they’re where they need to be will all be worth it.
You as someone who has lost your child can remember your child all the while working to find yourself again and move on with your life. The people around you will not be able to fix you but you will be able to heal yourself when you are ready for healing. Take all the time you need, your inner power will get you through this and if you need a helping hand don’t hesitate to ask for one.
You are not alone, there are tons of women in this world who have suffered similar losses and those women need you just as much as you need them. Happiness might not be something that you can find just yet but in time it will come forth in small ways. Your child might not be here with you physically right now, but he or she is still with you on an energetic level and on that level will never leave your side.