While being a victim is never something we plan for or want to happen, it can and does happen to many of us. We are taken advantage of by others and thrown through the gutter time after time. 

One of the worst things about victimhood is the fact that we see ourselves as a victim for far too long. We are only a victim while we are allowing that person who hurt us to hold power over us. When we choose to move on and grow through the experience, we are no longer a victim. The truth is we all must break free from the ‘poor me’ mentality and work to find ourselves again. 

No, I’m not saying we should blame ourselves for what happened or that we should downplay the severity, but we should be willing to move on and through that, once the initial incident has passed take the time we need to heal so that we can truly let go of that victimhood. Holding onto it doesn’t do anyone any good. 

Psychology Today wrote as follows on this topic:

Everyone gets attacked, injured, cheated, fooled, and harmed during their life — if not physically, then emotionally. And everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events. We’re all victims, in moments, to life’s challenges and difficulties — life’s lifeness.

It’s psychologically healthy to acknowledge the suffering and feelings of powerlessness that accompany such experiences. And yet, there are those people who feel like victims all the time, regardless of their circumstances. Those with a victim mentality are always being victimized, at least in their own mind. They maintain a consistent victim identity and see life through perpetually victim-tinted glasses.

By working to overcome this once the initial act and pain has passed we have to take ownership of our wants as well as our needs. We have to really take our happiness into our own hands and stop to realize that no one else is going to push us to get better, we must get better on our own. If you are someone who still feels powerless because of something that happened to you, take back your power. 

Being aware of the place your powerlessness is coming from and overcoming that will help you in some of the most enormous ways. Don’t move through life still being rude to yourself and refusing to grow. This will do you no good. 

Don’t get me wrong, this for many of us will not be easy but it will be crucial for our development overall. You can use your own will power to take control back if you truly want to. Even when you’re scared and unsure of yourself, you can find room to achieve more and feed into that personal power.

Forgive yourself for allowing something like that to happen and move on. You deserve to be free from this victim mentality and until you let that sink in properly, you will never truly be free from your abuser’s grasp. Things are not always what they seem to be.

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