Sometimes people unintentionally end up in bad relationships with the wrong people. And while we may all silently think to ourselves that we will never be the person who stays with the wrong one- it’s much easier to say that until you get put in that position.
Many people end up in a toxic relationship, no matter how intelligent they may be, no matter how much they have going for them, and no matter what it looks like from the outside looking in. The thing is, when it comes to love, there is no such thing as logic. We’ve all witnessed someone we love to stay in a relationship that is not good for her. Or, perhaps, we’ve been that girl. But what is it that pushes a woman to stay in a bad relationship?
Well, there are multiple reasons and all of them are rooted in our psychological makeup. I will go over them here.
Unresolved Issues With Our Fathers
It might sound cliché, but the thing is, women need to have a healthy relationship with their fathers to help them learn to navigate through relationships later on. When you have a difficult relationship with your father, it can cause you to become accustomed to and accepting of unhealthy connections. From the perspective of someone who had a father who pretty much dipped out of my life in the years in which I needed him most, I know how difficult that wound can be, and how much I clung to the wrong men time and time again, looking for that same love.
If you believe you are unable to be manipulated, you just haven’t met the right manipulator, or you are delusional. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to come off as callous, but we have all been manipulated in one way or the other. In relationships, manipulators can be smart, knowing exactly how to make you fall for them and then using your love against you. Even the smartest woman can be taken for a ride by a manipulator.
Low self-esteem can have the most beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful people believing they are nothing. And because we often accept the love we believe we deserve, if you don’t see yourself as the wonderful being that you are-it’s much easier to accept bad behavior.
Accustomed to Chaos
Some people grow up in toxic families and are so accustomed to tragedy and chaos, that when something normal and peaceful comes along, it makes them uneasy. Because of this, some feel more comfortable when they are in chaotic situations.
Fear of Being Alone
The fear of being alone can be a great motivator to be around anyone who will give you the time of day. Once upon a time, I bounced from a long-term relationship to a long-term relationship until I realized that I was settling for people who were not good for me to avoid being alone. Then, I began allowing myself to be alone, and it helped me realize that there is peace in avoiding the company of those that will only drag you down.
Fear of Losing Security
In some cases, women can become comfortable with someone and begin depending on them. However, after they become dependent, they find themselves in a situation where their partner completely does a 180, and they no longer recognize the person they are with. Unfortunately, because they have grown dependent on this person, it is much harder to leave.