Love is a lot of things to each of us but some people don’t ever stop to break that down and it in many ways holds them back. Sure, there are lots of types of love but what types of love matter the most and how can they be embraced in our lives?
According to Buddhist teachings when it comes to love there are four specific kinds of love that make up all love. Those four kinds of love being loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and a particular form of equanimity. While you might already know what the first three of those are the last one tends to catch people off guard. According to Insight Meditation Center, all four of these kinds of love are taught and encouraged throughout classic Buddhist teachings but that doesn’t mean that those who are not Buddhists cannot learn from the lessons they bring with them.
In this article, we are going to go over that last (forth) kind of love and really break it down. Equanimity for those who do not know is basically a mental calmness. This is someone’s ability to keep their calm even in the most stressful and difficult situations. Most people are not capable of embracing this one and are unable to share it with the world.
When we are loving ourselves and others with equanimity we are able to accept things as they are and really face reality as a whole. Rather than worrying about what we need to do to fix things or arguing about the past, we are living in the present moment and through that being more mindful. The more accepting we are of the current situations before us the more capable we are to be there for the people who need us the most.
This in many ways also reduces stress if mastered properly and leaves a person caring for their own wellbeing on a deeper level than they otherwise would be. For instance, someone comes to you and tells you that you’re fired. You shouldn’t freak out and make a big scene, you should accept it and work to find another job. Getting freaked out and overwhelming your mind more isn’t going to do anyone any good.
This can be applied to your relationships with others as well. For instance, if a friend comes to you and tells you about something they are going through, you can’t change the fact that they’re going through it but you can help them understand it. You can hear them out and without being angry at them or upset over their choices you can provide some advice and help them to heal in their own ways.
When you look at your connections from a perspective that holds a bit of equanimity you are able to see that in this life we are all moving towards the same thing, and we are all trying our best. Whether we’re falling short or just need a boost to get bu, we are in this together. While some people like to make this kind of thing out to be moving through life without caring what happens, that’s not necessarily what it is at all.
We through being present and aware of all of these kinds of love and embracing them for their truest forms can help others grow all the while doing what is best for ourselves. Nothing is as cut and dry as it may seem. Do you love with this kind of love or are you lacking somewhere within? To learn more about this topic please feel free to check out the video below.