If you’re with her for the wrong reasons you should not be spending time with her at all. She sees something in you and the more time that you spend by her side, the more you’re going to get her hopes up.
She might not realize you’re wasting her time but you know all too well that is exactly what you’re doing. You don’t really want to be with her for the rest of your life but for some reason leaving her isn’t something you’re willing to do right now, why? By staying in her life you’re only making things worse in the long-run. You’re forcing her to suffer and you’re forcing yourself to suffer.
If you’re not meshing properly or you’re just not ready to set things in stone how she wants you to, you’re only wasting her time. When she wants you to choose her but you refuse to, you’re only making it clear that being in her life is not a good option for you. By building her up over and over again only to let her down, you’re doing a lot of damage.
If you don’t see her for who she is and appreciate her presence, stop popping back into her life. Quit dragging her along and don’t let your need to possess keep bringing her down. She deserves better and if you refuse to get out of the way so that she can find better, you’re a piece of crap.
Sure, you might have some feelings for her but if you don’t want to be with her properly, you’re not giving her what she deserves. She deserves someone who will be there for her through all of the ups and downs this world throws her way. Someone who will love her for who she is and never try to change her.
Just because she’s pretty or has a lot of things you would want in life does not mean you deserve her. That you need to let sink in. If you’re not treating her properly, you do not deserve her no matter how much she has to offer you in life.
For once, stop thinking of yourself and think of her. Think about her well-being and how many disasters you’ve caused for her. Consider the times she’s cleaned up your messes and how much effort she’s put forth into making things work. Does she really deserve the damage you’re always putting her through?
She can and will find someone who makes her happy on a real level but for that to happen, you need to get out of the way. For once in your life, do something selfless and stop wasting her time. She is amazing and all you’re doing is holding her back. If you’re not going to choose her, get the hell out of her way, so she can find someone who will.