Sure, a lot of people stay friends with their exes but why? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
According to many people in the psychology world, staying friends with exes is not always a good choice. That being said, I am not saying it can’t ‘work.’ Everyone is different and I am sure for some people it is not the end of the world. Nina Atwood an author and therapist actually says that when it comes to staying friends with a past lover we are putting ourselves in an emotional bind.
She says that wanting to remain friends only prevents you from feeling the full depth of the loss you’re facing. It softens the blow of the breakup but will not end well down the road. Sure, you might take some comfort in knowing that person is still there for you, but eventually, the reality of it all will come crashing into your mind.
Atwood told YourTango that while you might not be with this person anymore you’re still going to feel like he or she knows you better than anyone else. You’re going to crave the emotional intimacy you had with them and you’re not going to be able to get it. It only hurts you in the long-run.
Another prominent face in the world of relationships is Kindsay Kriger and she also agrees that we should not be friends with our exes. She has a BA in Psychology from NYU and believes cutting all ties is crucial when it comes to moving on. Ignoring the feelings you had for someone is not as easy as people think it is. While this might not be what you want to hear, it is important to know.
Staying friends with an ex is normally going to bring about more negative emotions and leave someone feeling jealous when a new partner comes into the picture. For more information on this please feel free to check out the video below. While it is not impossible it is not something anyone should waste their time with.
Studies have been done in the past on this kind of thing and it was even found that we tend to try to stay friends after relationships for all the wrong reasons. If you are thinking about trying to remain friends with an ex perhaps checking your motives first would benefit everyone.