Sure, a lot of the time we think that through pleasing others we will be able to get the things we want from them. This could be anything from material possessions to their love and well, everything in-between.
If you’re a people pleaser then eventually you will have to learn that pleasing others comes with a very steep price. It means letting yourself down and wasting your own time. Our lives are much shorter than most people realize, you can waste years doing the things others want to do only to find on your deathbed you never followed your own dreams or even your heart in some cases.
People pleasers tend to make a lot of mistakes when it comes to pleasing others. They surround themselves with toxic people that are only in their lives to take what they can. These people are going to make you feel like you aren’t good enough and like nothing you want matters. Being kind and people pleasing are two completely different things, you can be kind and know how to say no.
We as humans must set healthy boundaries for the people in our lives. We have to be able to take our own needs and wants into account. You will never get the love or respect you deserve when pleasing everyone around you. You have to make sure you are truly happy before you worry about the happiness of others.
“If you find yourself craving approval, you are low on self-love. Stop grasping for a few scraps wherever you can. Go home and make yourself a feast. Love yourself deeply today.”
― Vironika Tugaleva
Just because you bend over backward for someone doesn’t mean they are going to like you or show you the same favor back. Life just doesn’t work that way. You can’t waste all of your patience and efforts on someone that doesn’t deserve it. That’s how we end up falling behind in our own lives.
And while believing good things will happen to those who do good for others is a wonderful way of thinking, but it doesn’t always work that way. Some people are just not going to be willing to do the things you do. Sometimes being a little selfish is a good thing. It allows you to find that respect within yourself because if you respect yourself I promise far more will as well.
Just because facing those who might not approve of the things you want to do or be in life is scary doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen. Chase your own dreams and be your own person. You only get one life, live the life you want to live. People pleasing is vastly overrated.