Narcissists can be found just about anywhere and most of the time we don’t realize they’re in our lives until they’ve already hurt us in a big way. We sometimes know what to look for but in general, not all narcissists are the same.
Narcissists can be covert and under the table, or they can be clear and prominent in their actions. While some might reign somewhere in the middle being aware of these differences can make spotting them a lot easier. Something I have noticed regarding narcissists and making them easier to spot is to look for their crazy maker drama.
This is because no matter how protected you are if you’re near a narcissist their crazy maker drama will come out. Sure, you could be distanced and not giving them power in your life but that crazy maker drama will come out, and they will use it to break you down in some form even if they can’t quite get a proper hold on you. Crazy making drama for those who do not know is basically something we refer to as the act these people use to set others up to lose.
In regards to narcissistic crazy makers Psychology Today wrote as follows on their website:
The granddaddy of all crazymakers. Narcissists cannot empathize with anyone, meaning they cannot relate to your feelings. They only feel their own wants and needs. They are emotionally stunted, like a perpetually demanding 2-year-old. It is always about them. However, they can be extremely charming and charismatic, as they have learned how to be the greatest salespeople to get their needs met. They can charm and mimic compassion for brief moments in order to get their needs satisfied. They expect only the best and can be the most materialistic—demanding trophy-relationships, endless objects of success, only well-known acquaintances, top-notch services, lavish vacations, etc. They have disdain for emotions in others and often think even less of people close to them. They try to control everyone around them and will use every available tactic to gain control. Many high-ranking executives are narcissists and consequently tend to create a narcissistic culture in their company or division.
Now, in order to spot this kind of thing you need to be looking at the situation before you from an outside perspective. Instead of trying to figure things out within, you must travel elsewhere so that you can really break them down. This keeps you from getting caught up in the things going on and gives you a chance to breathe.
From there you need to work to distance yourself from this kind of dramatic experience. If you’re being set up to fail you need to question yourself and perhaps ask if this is something you even want a part of, to begin with. When you know your worth and are aware of your own inner power, you are much more capable of closing yourself off from these kinds of situations.
If someone is sending you negative messages, stop taking the time to hear them out and if someone is only praising you when you’re doing things that benefit them, stop doing things that benefit them. Take control back and allow your personal strength to shine through what you’re facing. While this concept itself might be a bit confusing the more you deal with it the more you will come to understand it.
To learn more about this please check out the video below. These kinds of people do not deserve places in our lives, and we need to keep that in mind. You choose the company that you keep, period.