Just because she raised you and taught you all you know does not mean you have to be a younger version of her. She might be your mother, but she doesn’t get to live your life.
While a lot of people struggle to break free from controlling parents, doing-so is one of the most powerful things on this planet. Sure, they might have treated you like their property for the longest time but that does not mean you are. You are your own person and you are the only one who gets to decide what you do with the life you were given here on this planet.
There is nothing wrong with breaking free and figuring out who you are inside so that you can make it reflect on your outside. You were not meant to live a miserable life stuck in her shadow and the sooner you come to realize that, the better. Realizing that is the first step towards coming into the light and working to be whoever you want to be.
I too struggled for a long time with a controlling mother who wanted nothing more than to live her life through me. She thought that because she missed her chance to chase her dreams that I could and would chase them for her but that was not what I wanted and it never will be. She thought that I even into adulthood should wait on her hand and foot, as if I owed her for bringing me into this world when I’d been caring for her far longer than she had been caring for me. Yes, she was my mother, but she had never acted like a mother.
Leaving her in my past was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and the best thing I’ve ever done. Now, she doesn’t have control over me. Now, I get to make my own choices. If I want to travel, I can travel. If I want to give my heart to someone, I can. I don’t have to spend all of my time worrying about whether she will approve of the things I’m doing and trying to fit into the box she made for me.
You deserve the freedom to decide who you turn out to be and that is something you should never let her take from you. You make your own rules and you figure out what works best for you in this world. Her ideas are not always going to align with yours and that’s alright.
You were meant to move forth and find your truth in this world, you belong wherever you see fit and you should not be stuck inside some bubble. You were not born to stay under your parent’s control, they are not supposed to continue making your decisions when you’re an adult. When you become an adult everything changes, you must move forth and fall time after time so that you can rise up and truly learn about your soul.
Do not fear the woman who brought you into this world, sure she might have controlled a big part of your life but moving forth she will have no say in an even bigger part of your life. You call the shots and in the end, you become the person you were always meant to be. I know, it might sound too good to be true but all this takes is one simple step in the right direction.