Introverts sometimes get a bad reputation for reasons that don’t make a lot of sense. Sure, they can be a bit flaky but overall, if you understand them you also get why sometimes they just need to be alone.
Being an introvert is not as easy as some make it out to be. Introverts need time alone and well, the people around them don’t always take that well. Sometimes we end up offending those we care about and while those close to us might feel like we’re pushing them away, we’re just doing what we need to in order to live our best lives. Yes, sometimes we will want to be around others and go do things but that isn’t going to be an everyday thing.
As an introvert myself, I would very much rather be sitting at home with my pets on the weekends instead of going out on the town with friends. I don’t like to ‘party’ or even have company over at my house for the most part. Sure, sometimes a friend visiting is fine but overall, my safe space is not one that I like inviting others into.
I am not choosing to spend time alone to hurt you or make you feel like I don’t care. I am doing it because it is what is best for me and it makes me content. I will still be there when you need me but I am not the friend you can spend all your time with, sorry.
Introvert Dear wrote as follows on introverts and why they are as they are in some ways:
Take, for example, two friends — one an extrovert, the other an introvert — at a house party. They’re crammed in a room with lots of people, and loud music blasts from huge speakers. Everyone is practically shouting to make their voice heard over the din. A dozen conversations are going on at once, along with a dozen things to pay attention to.
For the extrovert, this level of stimulation may be just right. He sees potential rewards everywhere — an attractive woman across the room, old relationships to be deepened, and new friends to be made. Most important, tonight is a chance to elevate his status within his group, that is, if he makes the right moves.
So, the extrovert feels energized and excited to be at the party. So motivated, in fact, that he stays late into the night. He’s worn out the next day and needs some time to recover (partying is hard work, after all), but to him, the energy spent was well worth it.
Now back to our introvert — see him hunkered in the corner? For him, this environment is simply too much. It’s too loud, there are too many things to pay attention to, and all the people in the room create a dizzying buzz of activity. Sure, he wants friends and to be liked too, but these “rewards” just don’t appear as tantalizing.
So, the introvert heads home early, where he watches a movie with his roommate. In his own apartment, with just one other person, the level of stimulation feels just right.
As an introvert asking the people closest to you for space is something you must do but also something you know can cause them to think that you’re someone they perhaps shouldn’t be ‘wasting their time on.’ If someone truly understands you, your need for space sometimes won’t be enough to run them off. When you tell them you need time to recharge, they should be willing to understand you even if it’s not something they’ve experienced firsthand.
I know, sitting down with the people in your life and talking to them about these things might not be easy but it can be very important. The people in the lives of introverts need to know that when we need our space, it’s not because they’ve done something wrong.