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When you look at relationships that go the distance, they have many things in common. Conversely, relationships that don’t last also share many similarities.

One trend among failing relationships is that you often see the two partners in the relationship pulling away and completely leaving their partners on the sidelines. In short, sometimes people grow apart and never realize it until it’s too late. Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with having a separate life outside of your relationship- people are autonomous individuals who need freedom and time to be themselves. But, when your separate life becomes your only life – you are heading toward disaster.

If you are doing these 10 things without your partner, your relationship isn’t likely going to last.

1. Celebrating major milestones.

Being in a relationship is meant to make you feel like you are a part of a team. And while it’s one thing to celebrate an important milestone with a friend or family member because you want to, if you are having to celebrate your milestones with others because your partner doesn’t care or support you, it’s a bad sign.

2. Attending important medical visits.

When you are extremely sick or going to the doctor to take care of important medical situations, you need your biggest supporter with you. Of course, there will be times when your partner may be cannot make it because it falls during a time in which they are working- but when they are missing all of your important medical visits, it can become a problem.

3. Parenting.

Children have two parents for a reason: they need to be raised with the help of both. When the job of parenting falls on one person’s shoulders and the other partner is not present or is always doing something else, it can create a gap in the family.

4. Only having solo hobbies.

Let me be clear: it’s okay to have your hobbies and interests. But, when all of your hobbies and interests are completely separate from your partner, it can become a major issue. While leading your own life is great, what’s the point in having a partner if you don’t spend any time together?

5. Attending family events.

From time to time, it’s normal (especially during holidays ) for couples to have to split off if they have multiple events to go to at once. However, attending all of your family functions alone, without your partner can be disheartening.

6. Experiencing loss alone.

When you lose someone, you go through a period of grief. You don’t want to ask for love and support, especially from your partner, because honestly, they should be there without you having to ask. Love means having compassion and being supportive of your partner. When your partner loses someone, even if that loss isn’t as personal to you, you should still be by their side.

7. Reaching for your dreams (without support.)

When you reach for your dreams or place your sights on a major goal, it’s important to have support. Especially from your partner. If you find that your partner doesn’t support you at all or even care about you meeting your goals, something isn’t right.

8. Fighting for the relationship.

One person cannot keep a relationship together. If only one person is fighting for the relationship, things aren’t going to work.

9. Experiencing new things.

Part of what keeps relationships afloat is spending time together and bonding. When one person wants to try new things and experience life, but the other is stuck in their comfort zone, it can ultimately tear the couple apart.

10. Traveling for fun.

When you are a part of a relationship, you are a part of a team and a friendship. Friendships require upkeep and part of what makes them so special is the shared memories you have with your partner. While it’s okay to travel sometimes and do things without your partner, it’s something else entirely to always travel alone, either because your partner doesn’t want to join you or because you don’t want them to go with you.