I know, we had our rough patches and things were not always as good as I made them out to be but I still cared for you more than I have anyone else so far. You were a lesson I needed to learn, and I am glad I met you.
I regret the way we ended and I regret a lot of things I did and did not do in our relationship but being with you is not something I would change. I was meant to spend the time I did with you so that I could grow and so that we could become better people in the long-run. I did a lot of things wrong and well, so did you but that’s just how it is sometimes. If I had been more careful and set my boundaries properly rather than trying to work so hard to please you, perhaps I would not have lost myself.
I am writing this so that maybe in the future you will know just what you meant to me, but if you never see this, that’s fine. I find myself a lot of the time considering if perhaps I did things differently, we could have made our love work but I know that things were just too damaged to continue forth and that I must keep working to accept. I for a while was very angry at you for what you did and for how you chose to move on while we were still together but now, I see why you did it.
There were things from me you weren’t getting and in the end, I didn’t give my all in the ways I should have. I felt that distance growing and I did nothing to try and counter it. I saw the hurt you felt when I ignored the things you tried so hard to talk to me about and for some reason, I didn’t know how to handle those discussions.
We are on different paths now and I think perhaps we always were and just couldn’t see it back then. I need you to know that you were enough and that I do not blame you for doing the things you did. You were lonely and I wasn’t there for you like I should have been. I thought I was doing what I should have been doing and well, I was wrong.
Maybe someday you will forget completely about me and honestly, you might be happier if that were the case but I know I will never forget you. You will be someone that has taught me more than you will ever know for the rest of my life and I will hold you dear even if you’re not in contact anymore. We both have to move on and I cannot dwell on this forever but I do want to process it properly this go around.
Even if I had known things would end up this way that first day we met, I would still have spoken with you and moved forward from there. I cannot change the past but I also don’t necessarily want to. You’re much happier now so my trying to get you back would only get in the way of that and I don’t want to hold you down. At least I got to experience you and we had a love that not everyone gets to see in their lives.
We may never be in the same room again and I may not cross your mind as often as you cross mine but that is alright. I am going to continue to grow and find myself more each day. I hope that all I learned through my time with you will help me in the future with the love that I am meant to hold forever. I hope you have a great life and that you continue to also work on living your best life.