Skip to main content

Parenting is not an easy feat, there is so much pressure on our backs, that even the slightest bit of extra pressure can push us over the edge. The thing is, because there’s a common misconception that parents aren’t supposed to get angry, we are under even more pressure.

Don’t get me wrong, when we do get angry and act out on our children, it isn’t the best course of action. However, if you are a parent and never experience an outburst, I would likely doubt that you are even human. When an anger outburst does happen, the best thing we can do is correct ourselves, calm down and help our kids to calm down.

Anger and frustration and fear all feed off of one another, so the sooner you can calm your child, and yourself, the better. Here are 6 tips to help your child calm down after you get angry with them.

1. Calm yourself first.

It’s important that you calm yourself, first and foremost. It will do you absolutely no good if you approach your child while you are still angry and upset.

2. Explain what happened.

Go over what happened from what you envision was their perspective. Because they are a child, they may not understand that you got upset, but instead could likely be scared. By explaining things calmly, you are assuring them you are not a threat.

3. Empathize.

Be empathetic. Listen to what they have to say, and if they continue to be upset, don’t get frustrated. Allow them a moment.

4. Reflect on how things could have went differently.

Go over the events, and explain what could have went differently. Rather than putting the blame on your child or even all on yourself, be neutral.

5. Apologize.

Make sure you apologize for the way you handled the circumstances. For example, “I apologize for getting so upset with you. I could have handled this better.”

6. Connect.

Once your child is calm, sit down with them, and connect. Spend someone on one time together and don’t quit until everything is back to normal.