When a parent dies and you’re still a kid, you don’t get to process things in the same way you would as an adult when your parent finally passes. Regardless of what happens to them, when you’re a child, it hits much harder than most could ever imagine.
Children feel the loss strongly, they don’t completely understand what is happening, and they struggle with the feelings these situations bring forth. Just because you don’t see the emotions the child is facing does not mean they are lacking. They can go from playing to crying and then back to playing in the blink of an eye, but they’re still seriously going through things.
If you’ve ever heard the stories of those who have had parents die when they were still children, you know how devastating the things they faced truly are. Parents play such an important role, and we all need to keep that in mind. Below I am going to add in a few Reddit posts I have come across covering this topic. Do any of these stories hit close to home for you?
Lost my dad when I was 13 to a disease he statistically shouldn’t have gotten nor died from. He was the best father a family could ask for. Hilarious, was never short on love or life advice to give, hard-working, so protective and just an amazing, selfless person. It was the breaking point in a long list of things that added up to me making an attempt at taking my life. It sent me into the deepest depression I’ve ever been in, I missed out on the high school placement testings in 8th grade, I lost almost all my friends, I had a “volunteer” stand-in for my dad at my graduation and it was so, so strange (a close work friend of his; I wholeheartedly appreciated the gesture but it didn’t change how much it hurt). I was so numb to everything. I couldn’t even be mad or upset anymore, I just didn’t have anything in me to express any sort of genuine emotion.
13 years later, while I’ve coped, it’s never going to heal. He saw me grow up, but not “grow up”. I was still a kid. He won’t be there for when I finally get my first college degree, to share a beer with, have a dance with me at my wedding, shoot the shit with my future husband, see the birth of his future grandchild, tell more over the top dad jokes. Even in the littlest moments I still find myself saying “Dad would love this.” I hear one of his favorite songs and I still cry. I see old photos or home movies and I just wish I could pull him out of that screen and hug him and tell him everything that’s been going on.
God damn, I miss him.
It sucks. It’s like waiting for that person to finally open the door and say, “I’m home”. My dad passed away last July overseas. He wanted to finish remodeling our family home for my mom. He never finished and died in his sleep. I was at the gym when my sister notified me. My friend drove me home. My mom and sister booked a ticket to bury my dad. I couldn’t sleep all night. When we arrived, my dad was in his casket covered with a lot of beautiful flowers and had an upset frown on his face. I think that’s what got me. He didn’t die happy. His casket was carried by horse and was buried in the family lot.
It still hurts, but I try to make him proud. I just got admitted to a nursing program and I’m hoping to finish to help my mom out.
I lost my father at 17. It was a weird time, because I found new love, but was battling with the fact that I was going to lose my father, just didn’t know when. I also went to a vocational high school, so being a junior, without taking SAT’s and going to work from high school was a gamble I didn’t know the outcome of.
It affected me after I went into the workforce and shared generic conversations with people old enough to be my dad, talk about their living and well fathers and/or parents. It would sink in deep knowing I would never get to talk in the present tense about “parents”, rather, “my mother”. It affects me less 7 years later, I have a house, a fiancé, and an amazing career debt-free. I just wish my dad was here to see all I’ve accomplished.
I lost my dad the month before I turned 13 and I lost my mom this past October when I was 27… with both of them gone it’s like I HAVE to be the adult in every situation, I have no one to lean on if I mess up, no one is there to help me, no grandparents etc… I always feel like this little orphan wandering the streets at night dragging my teddy beat behind me like you see in movies and whatnot…
About two weeks after my dad died I was in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. I was putting away leftovers when I thought to myself, “alright, there’s just enough for Dad when he gets home.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, that he was never coming home again. I lost it and my mom found me crying on the kitchen floor holding Tupperware full of food.