Sometimes in life, we get to caught up in making sure everyone else is taken care of we let ourselves fall through the cracks. There is nothing wrong with being kind and generous but you have to know your limits, you should not be putting the wants or needs of everyone else above your own.
While you might not need to stop being useful to those around you, you do need to start taking care of yourself. You matter and if you let yourself become overwhelmed or exhausted you won’t be any good to anyone. You really need to know where your limits are so that you can ensure you are still capable of taking care of yourself in all the ways you truly need to.
Below I am going to go over some of the more common signs that you are giving far more than you should be. If you are doing all of these things and feeling all of these things you need to give yourself some space and spend some time working on YOU. Everyone else can wait until you are where you need to be in your life. These red flags should not be ignored.
14 Signs You Give Far More Than You Should:
1. Your ‘help’ is not exactly stable anymore.
You are giving so much that you are forgetting things and letting things slip your mind. You are doing far more than you should be doing and it is causing you to break at the seams. You’re just not in a good place right now.
2. You feel exhausted.
You literally feel like you run yourself ragged and you do. You are always off doing something for someone else and even on the days, you should be spending relaxing you aren’t. You should really take better care of yourself.
3. You do not have the things you need.
You are giving to the point where it is putting you in a bad place. You are putting your needs behind the needs of everyone else. You don’t have the things you need because you are just going out of your way to make sure everyone else has what they need. PUT YOURSELF FIRST!
4. You are helping someone not better themselves without realizing it.
You are enabling someone and allowing them to do something they shouldn’t be doing. Sure, they might act like it is the only way but it isn’t. You are not responsible for others, don’t let them take advantage of you.
You agreed to do something once and now there is something new for you to do every single day. This is a sign someone is taking advantage of your kindness. In this situation, you really need to learn how to say NO.
6. Your relationship is too codependent and holding you back.
You are letting someone depend on you for too much. This person doesn’t know how to exist without you and it is draining you. You need your space, don’t feel bad for taking it.
7. You are overlooking the downsides to help others.
You overlook all the downsides to doing things for other people because you love lending a hand. You might not think staying up helping Nancy instead of sleeping is a big deal but it is. This throws off your whole week in one way or another.
8. The person you are helping has constantly violated agreements.
When someone you are helping refuses to follow through with things he or she had agreed on why waste your time? They aren’t worried about you so why worry about them? Your time and efforts are worth more than that.
9. You are bailing out those who are irresponsible.
You keep bailing people out who are doing things to themselves. For instance, if your sibling keeps getting arrested time and time again only to call you for help. You can only do so much. Sometimes it’s just not worth it.
10. You feel like you are being manipulated.
If you feel like you’re being manipulated then you most likely are. Don’t let people take advantage of you. Your life is yours to live.
If you are giving to the point where your damaging your relationships and household, stop. Your family needs should come before the needs of friends or people who are not supporting you. Take care of yourself first.
12. Your too busy to take care of yourself.
You have to take care of yourself. If you are taking on so much that you cannot do that you need to make a change. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t help anyone.
13. You are always stressed out because of the drama.
You are too stressed and it is taking a serious toll on you. Your mental health is important and if you aren’t where you need to be you need to make some changes. Drama should not have a place in your life.
If you feel like shit at the end of each day and have nothing to show for all that you have done you need to stop being so giving. As I mentioned before, take care of yourself before anything else. Your life is yours to live, take the risks you need to take and LIVE YOUR LIFE.