Gaslighting is one of the most common things in regard to manipulation that narcissistic people and toxic individuals overall use. While it is very common for some reason people tend to forget just how damaging gaslighting can be.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation or psychological control that involves making one party look crazy. Those who gaslight others do so in order to gain control over them and in many ways to make them question their own thoughts and sense of reality. It is something we are learning more and more about in the world today and it can come in a lot of different forms.
In regards to recognizing gaslighting Psychology Today wrote as follows on their website:
It can be difficult to recognize when the act of gaslighting begins if there are not other pathological behaviors on display. A gaslighter will initially lie about simple things: “No, I told you the visit was scheduled for Saturday, not Sunday.” The prevarication and misinformation then grows: a gaslighter may next accuse the victim of lying, or introduce entirely new, fabricated stories, rather than just reacting to statements and questions: “Why did you schedule a visit for Saturday when you know I’m always tired then?” when no such visit was ever scheduled.
Individuals who are targeted will eventually experience increased confusion and self-doubt around a gaslighter. The gaslighter will try to convince the target that what he or she remembers, thinks, and feels is wrong. As the relationship continues, the manipulative individual will introduce lies or negative statements in more sensitive areas, aiming to disrupt and distort foundational aspects of a person’s being: “Your children won’t visit this weekend; they clearly prefer spending time with your ex. You’d be so much better off now if you’d never married and had children.”
When you disagree with someone who is gaslighting you, they will do all they can to twist things around and make it seem as if you’re the one with something funky going on in your head. Your manipulator will try to play the victim and leave you looking as if you’re the one hurting them instead of the other way around. These kinds of people try to make you out to be a monster in the eyes of the people around you and can do serious damage in your life if you don’t distance yourself from them once you realize what is happening.
Below I am going to go over some signs that might indicate you’re being gaslighted and what those signs mean for you. These are things you should never ignore. If someone is doing these things to you, cut ties and do what is best for you, period.
12 Signs You’re Being Gaslighted That You Need To Look For:
1. You don’t feel like yourself anymore.
The more time you spend with a gaslighter the more you will lose yourself. If you don’t feel like yourself you need to spend some time on your own. Find yourself and then from there find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
2. This person always blames you for everything, even things you had no control over.
You cannot change things you have no control over. Don’t let anyone ever blame you for something you didn’t have anything to do with. He or she made the decision to do whatever he or she is whining about and the results are theirs to face on their own, period.
3. This person is constantly attacking you on a personal level.
When someone you love attacks you on a personal level it can make you feel extremely low. You deserve better than that and this person is only doing this to make you feel like sh!t. The worse you feel the more control he or she can gain in your life. By allowing this to happen you’re giving them exactly what they want.
4. Even when you have proof of their actions this person still denies having done certain things.
When the person you’re with denies things even when you have proof you should not listen to them. Go with your gut and listen to your inner voice. You have proof, there is no denying that period.
5. This person creates enemies in your life without giving much reason at all.
This person is always talking bad about you and making you out to be a monster. They turn the people in your life against you and work to isolate you. The more isolated you are the more control they can and will have over you.
6. This person is always trying to confuse you.
Gaslighters are great at bringing forth confusion. If your partner is always working to make sure you’re in a state of wonder and unsure of things that should be enough to make you want to hit the road. You shouldn’t be stuck at home wondering if he or she really cares about you.
7. You feel very on edge around this person.
When you’re spending too much time with the wrong people you’re going to feel on edge. You never know who you’re coming home to or what mood this person is going to be in. That in itself is more than enough reason to leave. Your partner should make you feel safe and secure.
8. This person is constantly making you feel guilty.
Far too often we let people make us feel guilty of things we have no control over. Just because he or she is upset over something doesn’t mean you can change it and you shouldn’t have to feel helpless as a result. You are your own person, and they need to respect that above all else.
9. This person never does what he or she says they will do.
When someone in our lives refuses to follow through with the things they say they will do we shouldn’t keep giving them that power. Either you do what you say you will do or you stop agreeing to things, period. This person might say change is coming but that change has never shown itself before and never will in the end either.
10. This person projects their insecurities or shortcomings onto you.
If the person you’re with is constantly accusing you of things you’re not doing that is a sign of projection. They’re making their weaknesses and shortcomings into yours and making issues in your life. This meaning they are doing things that they don’t want you to know about and accusing you of those things to throw you off.
11. This person is constantly lying to you and never admitting to his or her lies.
If this person is lying to you and refuses to own up to his or her lies you need to take it as a sign. Normal people own up to their lies and make changes. If this person isn’t willing to change, they’re gaslighting you.
12. This person does their best to wear you down over time.
If this person is trying to wear you down and convince you to do things that he or she wants you to do without being blatant about it then you should see it as a red flag. The more you give in the more he or she asks for. It’s like you’re only good for them when you’re helping them do the things they want to do and in no other way.