While you might not realize it, you’re bringing me down in more ways than the person we’re arguing over did. You want me to let go and move on but it’s not that simple, forgiveness is not something that can be or should be forced.

Stop trying to force me into something I’m not ready to do. I will forgive when I am ready to do-so. When I am no longer holding onto this pain and am finally able to step forward I will forgive but that is something I have to take my time with. I must do this when I am ready, not when you are. By trying so hard to push me to do what you feel is the right thing, you’re gaslighting me and trying to brainwash me which I don’t appreciate. Sure, you might not see it like that but to me, the manipulation is quite clear.

You always do this, You try to force me to brush things off and try too hard to have the worst issues blow over far too quickly. I need time to mourn the loss of my old self and I need to work through the things going on inside me. Don’t you get that?

No one has to forgive someone who has hurt them, not unless they want to do-so. You can’t wash away all of the pain someone is feeling just because you want them to be happier or you want to help them be a bit brighter. It does not work that way.

The things someone goes through and the animosity or hurt they feel in regards to the person who broke them down in whatever way are not yours to rush. The victim is the only one who should be in charge of when letting go, moving on, and forgiving is to happen. That being if it is to happen at all.

If I (or anyone else) decide not to forgive someone who has hurt me, that is my choice to make and mine alone. It doesn’t make me bitter or anything else of the sort and you need to realize that. Through doing what is best for me I am bringing my own power to the table whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

There is nothing wrong with taking your time to process the things you’ve faced and there is also nothing wrong with making sure someone has proved their intent before accepting their apology. We don’t have to forgive people overnight and honestly, we shouldn’t be asked to. Forgiveness in itself is a personal choice that we can make or opt not to make.

While you might be positive with your intentions and just trying to help, don’t go sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. We all face things in our own ways and sometimes it takes more time for this kind of thing than you would expect. Forgiveness isn’t the same for everyone, just because it helps you doesn’t mean it will help me.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-addiction-connection/201409/the-psychology-forgiveness

Leave a Reply