When we are children we need more than just clothes on our backs and a roof over our heads. We need to be nurtured and cared for on an emotional level.
While some children are fortunate enough to get all of their basic needs met and then from there maintain a positive relationship with their parents or caretakers, not all are. Some parents end up raising their children the way that they were raised (which can be quite damaging depending on how they grew up) and others struggle with their own problems to the point where actually showing their kids the love they deserve becomes impossible. Sure, this might seem insane to those who cherish their younger years, but for many, it is a reality that leaves them facing some pretty rough things as they live their adult lives.
The things we go through as children are not just isolated, they change us and can have a serious effect on how we function as an adult. If you do not develop a loving connection with the people closest to you in life at a young age, building real connections as an adult is not easy. You are much more closed off and expect far more from your self than you should.
This kind of thing overall is basically something we refer to as childhood emotional neglect and while it is something we are all capable of overcoming, not everyone realizes that it’s something they’re even facing. The more you internalize that loneliness and close yourself off from your sensitive side, the easier it becomes for you to lose sight of your true self.
As an adult coming to terms with this and realizing just what is stemming from the effects of your childhood can be a lot to take in. You might struggle with your sense of self-worth, be unable to trust others, and even end up closing yourself off to the point where you’re only open to toxicity because it’s the only thing you’re used to in this life.
When we are neglected in this way as children, we become adults who are not good at forming proper attachments, and we put up walls to protect ourselves that in the end only leave us relying on ourselves more than we should ever have to. We don’t know how to deal with our own emotions and find ourselves bottling them more and more to the point where it hinders what few real connections we have and is quite negative overall. Love is important and without it, as children, we lose sight of who we are in more ways than most care to acknowledge.
That all having been said, you can overcome this kind of thing. Just because childhood emotional neglect is a silent issue that most don’t see, does not mean you are unable to grow and move on from it. Whether you had parents who expected too much of you or parents who refused to spend time with you, you can live a normal life without allowing these things to bring you down if you work hard enough at bettering yourself and coming to a proper understanding of the things you’ve faced.
The first steps that should be taken are ensuring your needs as an adult are being met, working to embrace your emotions, even the ones that are hard, and practicing self-care. While they won’t be something you can achieve overnight, they are all realistic goals that you can meet when things are as they should be. Rather than tearing yourself down, build yourself up.
Being told time and time again that you’re not good enough or that you’re not doing enough is hard on us in ways we do not usually stop to consider. The more neglected were in this kind of way, the more we overthink things and blame ourselves. You should never feel guilty over not being able to do something if you’ve tried your best in the process.
For more information on all of this, please check out the video below. While it is a hard road to walk down, recovering from childhood emotional neglect is possible. You deserve the love that you were deprived of as a child. Things will get better.