When it comes to being an empath things can be quite complicated. While you might not want to absorb the emotions of the people around you, you cannot help but to do-so.
Being an empath is not easy. It is, of course, a wonderful gift but sometimes it can feel more like a curse. As empaths for some reason, we do not tend to set emotional boundaries and this really sets us up to fail more often than not. If you as an empath want to stop taking on the emotional pains of the people around you at least on some levels, boundaries need to be placed and you need to keep those boundaries in check.
Now, before we dive into how to set boundaries and what kinds of boundaries empaths need let’s break down what an empath is just in case anyone is confused or unaware. Empaths are highly sensitive people who are tuned into the emotions of other people. They can pick up on emotions and energies without having to put an effort forth.
Empaths are constantly absorbing these things from the people around them and taking them on as their own. This meaning they are an easy target for energetic vampires and that they must cut ties with those who take advantage of their powers. Empaths are often far too kind and giving and as a result, end up feeling quite drained.
You see, the average person is going to be more than capable of figuring out what emotions are theirs because they’re not constantly absorbing. With empaths, this is tricky because sometimes they forget or become confused in regards to what emotions actually belong to them. Sure, that might sound a bit odd but if you’re an empath you know exactly what I mean.
Now, in reference to setting boundaries Andrea Leda wrote as follows on her website:
How do we create, uphold, and appreciate setting boundaries if we’re just walking around in one big pot of emotional soup? With intention and self-awareness.
Saying “no” or feeling “no” in honor of my boundaries is a daily practice. One I don’t always get right. I never want to let someone down, but what I find to be true every single time, without fail, is this – when I say yes to something that crosses a boundary for me I end up feeling resentful, disengaged, and annoyed. And I don’t want to represent my work or my life from this place, ever.
Boundaries are NOT a shield to keep people away.
Boundaries ARE about authentic connection.
Setting a boundary is how we connect most authentically with people. If you take all your triggers and baggage out of the equation, what’s leftover is your most authentic self. Your most authentic self can easily connect with others because you know where your line in the sand is and YOU don’t cross it.
Boundaries are NOT hoarding your time or being unavailable.
Boundaries ARE about sharing yourself freely.
Setting a boundary is letting someone know what congruency looks like and feels like to you. This is you honoring your needs – your energy needs, your emotional needs, your support needs, and your self-care needs. When we take away from our own needs to make space for others this isn’t a boundary, it’s being a martyr.
When we as empaths set boundaries with the people in our lives we are respecting and caring for ourselves more properly and there is nothing wrong with that. As empaths, this is crucial for us for a number of reasons. If we don’t take proper care of ourselves we won’t be able to continue to help the people that we help and if you are struggling please keep that in mind. Sure, boundaries are not easy at first but the more you reinforce them the better of a hang you will get in regards.
I personally find that journaling, white light meditation, and saying ‘no’ are some of the best ways to properly guard myself. Through journaling, I am able to figure out what I’m feeling and where it’s coming from so that I can release it. White light meditation is a protective means of keeping toxic energies at bay and saying ‘no’ when you want to is important to even those who are not empaths.
For more information on this topic please check out the video below. It will help you set boundaries properly as an empath and break things down further. What do you think about all of this? As an empath have you been struggling with boundaries?