Getting married is a huge step and it really seems like in this day and age people tend to jump into it a lot quicker than they should. While you might think you love someone and think that they are your perfect match if you haven’t taken the time to go over the important stuff you definitely need to.
Below I am going to go over some of the things you and your lover need to talk about long before getting married. Rushing into marriage is not the answer to anyone’s problems and really getting to know one another on the proper level is important. If you are not both on the same page where it counts the most, should you even be dating or considering marriage at all?
Before Getting Married You And Your Partner Need To Talk About These 19 Things:
1. Bills and Accounts
Before getting married you need to go over what things are going to happen when you’re finally at that place together. Who will be paying the bills and will you both still have your own separate bank accounts? Will you both end up sharing an account and splitting everything? What works best for both of you.
2. Kids
Do you want children? How many do you want if any? Will there be any specific things that need to be aired out beforehand in regards to raising any children should you have them? There are tons of things that need to be covered in this area, if you’re not on the same page you should not be together.
3. Chores
Before deciding to tie the knot you should think about who is going to do what in a household setting. Is one of you going to cook while the other cleans? How is your household going to function?
4. Your Families
While many do not think about this taking into consideration how a person is with his or her family is important. If there are things that might concern you it is best to air them out before getting too deeply involved. Everyone needs to be able to find their common ground.
5. Debt
For some people, outstanding debt is a dealbreaker. Are you or your lover in debt? How much debt and would you feel better waiting until that debt is paid off? Remember when you’re married your lover’s debt becomes yours as well.
6. Religion
What is your religion and what is your partner’s religion? Do you have the same religion or are you both on different pages? How important is this to you in moving forward and what would you want your children to follow? Religious differences are not always easy to overcome.
7. Mattresses and Furniture
No one wants to be stuck on a mattress that hurts their back. How are things going to move forward, who will decorate the house and who will pick things out in general? Will you both make sure everyone is happy or will one allow the other to have his or her way?
8. Finances
When it comes to moving forward and making that huge jump you need to sit down and talk about finances. Can you afford the kind of wedding you want? Are you both stable enough to be together in the ways that you want to be?
9. Disaster
If something terrible were to happen would you be there beside one another through the rough patches? Knowing what to expect in the case of some kind of disaster or worse is important. You need to be on the same page when it comes to this kind of thing much more than you could ever fathom.
10. Home
Where do you want to settle down? Are you looking for a house in the city or would you want to live in the country somewhere? While this might not seem like a big deal, there is a lot that goes into finding a place to call home and everything needs to be comfortable for all who are going to be involved.
11. The Future
Talking about the future and where you think you will both be years from now is crucial. What would you do if you got a promotion at work that forced the two of you to relocate? How would you both handle things in life as they came up?
12. Personal Space
How much personal space are you willing to give one another and how much do you both need? Are you clingy or are you reserved? Get to know one another properly so that you can figure out what each part of the relationship needs. If neither of you are allowed any personal space moving forth and getting married might not be the best idea.
13. Support
Do you support one another one hundred percent? This question is one that many people overlook. Would you be there for your lover if he or she was in a coma? Are you going to be willing to sit down and talk through all of your problems when they come forth?
14. Secrets
Do you have any big secrets you’ve been keeping from one another? Is there anything you want to get out in the open? While you might not think it is a big deal, being open and honest with your partner is a big part of being in a relationship. If you cannot trust one another you shouldn’t be making this kind of commitment.
15. The Why
Why do you want to get married to one another? Are you doing this for the right reasons? Are you rushing into things? Never forget to stop and ask yourself and your lover these questions.
16. Divorce
What would you do in the case of a divorce? Is divorce something you would even consider to be an option in the future? While it might not ever happen, knowing how to get out of things when and if it is the time to is a big deal. Talking this through and getting on the same page saves a lot of heartache.
17.Physical Intimacy
How much fun time in the bedroom will you be having? Will you both be meeting one another’s needs in the future? While sometimes an awkward conversation to have this is going to really help you to better understand one another and how important your physical needs are.
18. Politics
Are you on the same page when it comes to politics? Do you disagree on anything that could ruin your marriage? How invested are you in your political views and can you respect one another’s differences?
19. Dealbreakers
Last but not least, take the time to go over any things that would make you not want to marry your partner. What are your dealbreakers and how firm are you with them? Do you trust this person not to do those things?