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It might be offensive or even hurtful to think that we are hard to love. But one of the most important aspects of entering the world of relationships and partnerships is drawing awareness to the fact that we are flawed.

Before you begin shaking your head or turning away- I think it’s important to mention that no human being is perfect. While we all have wonderful characteristics and wonderful parts of ourselves that offer something to others they may need- we also have differences and nightmarish tendencies that can make us difficult at times as well.

To believe that we are perfect, unflawed, and easy to love at all times is delusional. Not only is it delusional to believe we are unflawed and at all times easy to handle, but it’s also toxic.

Without asking ourselves about our flaws and trying to better understand them, we are never able to cope with our toxicity and be better for the people we love most.

I feel like most people would like to believe they are not only easy to love at all times, but a prize to be won. And while having high self-esteem and self-love is good, part of loving yourself is knowing that you have traits and tendencies that aren’t the best.

Every one of us can be a bit hard to deal with sometimes. We get angry and act out. We get sad and frustrated. We chew loudly and leave our plates on the table. Or we grab all the plates up and complain because we have to wash them. We all have tendencies to be less than easy to be around.

It’s honestly a major part of the human condition to be difficult. We all have our own will, our way of being, and at times, when we let out our own will, everyone else’s be damned, we can be quite frustrating to others. I don’t mean this to draw offense or to create guilt. I believe it’s important to realize our flaws and the flaws in others, not for shame or spite, but so we can all get along better over the long run.

We have to learn to accept ourselves and to accept others, while embracing that we have room to grow. Take a moment to contemplate the next few questions:

1. How am I difficult to deal with when I am angry?

2. How am I hard to live with?

3. How am I hard to deal with when I am sad?

4. How am I hard to deal with when I am tired?

5. How do my emotions make me harder to deal with?

6. When I am under pressure- how does this make me hard to deal with?

The major question isn’t am I hard to love- it’s HOW am I hard to love?