While there are tons of different reasons why your partner might resent you, only you can truly figure out why. Whether you’re having a lot of problems or you’re unable to come to terms with something, you are the person who has to work through it.
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When we are being resented or resenting our partner, working through this resentment is crucial for moving forward. Sitting down and talking things out so that everything is out in the open and can be resolved is the only way to get through. If your partner is doing the following things, then he or she resents you for some reason and now is the time to decide if you want to work on things or if you are ready to simply leave.
8 Signs That Your Partner Resents You:
1. Physical intimacy is seriously lacking or very one-sided.
When the two of you are physical with one another, things are lack-luster and one-sided. Only one of you is having a good time while the other is wondering why they’re even doing things. This is about as toxic as it gets and should not remain. While it might not seem like a big deal, the more it goes on, the more neglected the other person will feel.
2. You don’t really think they appreciate you anymore.
If you are not feeling appreciated in your relationship, it is probably with reason. We as lovers expect to feel cared for and as if our efforts are being noticed. Perhaps you’re not being appreciated, or you’re in a situation where that appreciation cannot be voiced? Sitting down and talking things through is again the only way to get through this one. If no resolution can be made, cutting ties might be your best option.
3. You both argue all the time (someone is picking fights constantly).
If you’re always arguing with your partner, or he or she is always picking fights, there has to be some kind of resentment present. You can’t be under one another’s skin 24/7, can you? Where is all this hostility coming from?
4. They make jokes that really hurt your feelings (even when you’ve mentioned it to them).
If your partner is making jokes that actually upset you and knows that they do, he or she is doing it to bother you. You can try to deny their intentions all you want but that will not change them. If they are so interested in bringing you down, perhaps you should just find someone who is actually worth your time.
5. You feel like you’re constantly being criticized.
While a little criticism is fine if your partner is pushing you over the edge and leaving you feeling ‘less than’ all the time, you are being resented for some reason. Sure, that reason might not be clear, but you also should know not to put up with this kind of behavior. When this kind of thing becomes too much, you need to be able to take matters into your own hands.
“Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft provides insights into understanding and coping with partners who exhibit controlling and critical behavior.
6. You are unable to show your vulnerable side to your partner.
When you feel so closed off from your partner that you don’t want to show your vulnerable side, there has to be a reason driving it. When we’re in a healthy functioning relationship, sharing this kind of thing should come naturally. If you’re unable to be yourself and share your emotions, is it much of a relationship, to begin with?
7. They say one thing and do another.
When you’re with someone who resents you, they will say things to make you feel like they’re caring and do things to make you aware that they don’t. They will hold you down and keep you under their wing, but still refuse to show you how to fly. Being with someone who resents you is like being stuck outside of the water as a fish.
8. They no longer go out of their way to show you that they care.
While they might say they care, you know they don’t. They don’t show you that they care and never make even small gestures for you. Nothing fits in place anymore, and you know what the right move is, even if you don’t want to make it.
“The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships” by John Gottman offers strategies for improving communication and resolving underlying issues in relationships.
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P.S. The reason so many men “pull away” from women is because
women don’t understand this naughty secret about men. . .
