Raising your children in a manner that allows them to grow up into proper functioning adults is not as simple as you might think. ‘Good’ kids are nowhere near as cut and dry as most people let on.
When it comes to being a parent, there are lots of things we can get wrong without realizing it. Parenting is not a walk in the park and at the end of the day, we all do our best. That being said, throughout the years’ many different psychologists and prominent figures have done research and came up with tons of things that parents can do to help ensure their children are not going to be ‘bad eggs.’
Below I am going to go over some of those things and explain them a bit. While you might not think some of them are important, they all are. All children are quite impressionable and the more we pay attention to them the better, within reason.
Parents Who Raise ‘Good’ Kids Do These 7 Things:
1. They show their children respect.
They let their children express themselves in their own ways. Parents who respect their children listen to the things they have to say and take their feelings into considerations. While they don’t have to be pushovers or anything like that, by making it known that they respect their children they are teaching them to also respect others.
2. They spend time with their children.
We should always make time for our kids. As parents, spending time with your children, even if you’re just watching a movie together, is important. You have to be present in their lives as much as possible. No one wants to be a stranger to their kids, but far too often that is what they become.
In this day and age, this is a very big issue. We are getting too caught up in work and life itself. We get our kids toys and things to keep them quiet, so we can do our own thing instead of interacting with them. This is not something that should be happening.
“The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively” by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell is an insightful book that can help parents understand how to communicate love and affection in ways that resonate with their children.
3. They take the time to teach their children things.
We as parents should be teaching our children things. Show them how to be responsible and how to solve their own problems. Let them make mistakes, but also be there to help guide them towards where they need to go.
Show them how to be grateful and how to do simple things in their daily lives. They will thank you for it later, and it will teach them that learning is important. As they grow they will go on to continue to learn more and more.
4. They actually nurture their children.
Nurturing your children is more than just giving them a hug when they’re upset. Be understanding and caring, but don’t overdo it. Don’t be one of those people that refuses to show their kids that they care about them. Sure, showering them with gifts might seem fine and all, but they need to know you’re there for them and that you’ll be there for them through whatever life throws their way.
“How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish offers strategies for effective communication that nurtures and validates a child’s experiences.
5. They allow age-appropriate decisions/responsibilities.
Don’t over shelter your kids! Good parents allow their children to make their own decisions within reason. For instance, if you have a small kid let them choose what color they want to wear each day or something of the sort. Really push them to be responsible and teach them to make their own decisions in life.
This kind of thing will set them up big time for the future. You don’t want to find out when they’re 18 and heading out into the real world that they can’t even get the things done that they need to because you always did those things for them. This all goes back to teaching them things as well throughout the years, really prepare them for life itself.
6. They expose their children to different cultures.
Exposing your children to different cultures teaches them to be kind and empathetic towards those who are different from them. We all need to be capable of loving one another and showing each other compassion. The more open and accepting your kids are the better. This world is a rainbow of colors and we all need to be accepted.
7. They show their children that they care.
When your kids are down in the dumps and feel like they have no one to talk to you need to be there for them. Make sure they know that they can come to you with whatever is bothering them. A lot of parents tend to let their kids lock themselves in their rooms and don’t bother to ask them how they’re feeling or do the things they need to in order to make things better.
By showing your children that you care you are making them feel less alone in this world. You are showing them that even at their lowest they still have you. This is crucial in many different situations.
“Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life” by Jon Kabat-Zinn could be beneficial for parents looking to foster mindfulness and acceptance within their family dynamics.
Your children might not be as perfect as you would want them to be, but they can be pretty amazing people if you raise them right. Doing the things above will give them a big head start in the right direction. As long as you do your best everything will be just fine.
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