Skip to main content

While it might not seem like it, most women are not as outspoken as they may seem. There are some things that they struggle to get out and the more aware of those things you are the better. 

When it comes to dating women are not as complicated as we tend to make them out to be. They want things that we should be without second thought offering but for some reason, many of us fall short. If you think your girlfriend or wife is not as happy as she could be or should be perhaps there is more you could be doing to ensure that she feels as she should.

Learn what women want here!

Being active in bettering your relationship as a whole is a great means of really helping your connection grow. The more you do the things listed below the more appreciated and ‘seen’ your lover will feel. While she may never ask you to do these things, they are very important and will make a huge difference in things moving forward.

9 Things Women Want In Love But Refuse To Ask For:

1. They want you to understand them and the way they feel.

Women don’t want their partners to just go through the motions of things. They want the person they’re with to really work to better understand them and the way they feel about things that are happening. You as a couple need to be able to work as a unit and in order to do that a mutual sense of understanding needs to be present.

For those looking to deepen their understanding of their partner’s feelings, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman is an excellent resource for learning how to better connect and understand each other’s emotional needs.

2. They want to see your vulnerable side.

Women don’t want you to just remain closed off throughout things. They want you to show them your vulnerable side. They want to know that you are capable of opening up to them and that no matter what you’re being honest and trustworthy.

To encourage openness and vulnerability in relationships, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown can be a transformative read for both partners.

3. They want you to be supportive and mature overall.

Women are not going to want to remain with someone who is always cutting them off or being immature. While a little humor here and there is fine you shouldn’t be making a joke out of everything. Relationships are more about being there for one another than most people are willing to grasp for some reason.

4. They want you to remind them that you care.

Women are not going to want to be with someone who doesn’t show them that they care. You have to be willing to make your feelings known. While it might be hard to do this at first, and they won’t ask you to do it, the sooner you do the more you can grow as a couple.

For advice on showing appreciation and care in a relationship, The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships” by John Gottman offers practical tips for deepening connections.

5. They want you to say ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ from time to time.

Women are not as hard to please as most think they are. Saying thank you when they do something nice and I’m sorry when you mess up should come naturally. Don’t be too stubborn to own up to your mistakes or to accept the help that is offered to you by the person who loves you the most.

6. They want to know that you’re going to be there when it counts the most.

Women are not going to stick around if they feel like you’re not capable of really putting in the work. You need to show them that you’re going to be there for them when life gets hard. Through the ups and the downs, you both need to remain on the same page.

7. They want to feel like they’re safe and secure with you around.

Women like everyone else in this world want to feel safe and secure with their lovers. You as their partner need to cultivate a life and world around them that makes them content. If she’s walking on eggshells around you, you’re really messing up.

8. They want to feel ‘wanted.’

We all want to feel wanted and if you’re not making sure your partner knows you’re attracted to him/her you’re really messing up. Physical intimacy is important.

9. They want you to listen to them and take in the things they say. 

Women want to be heard like everyone else does in this world. You as their partner need to be there to truly listen to them. Don’t be the kind of person who lets things go in one ear and out of the other.

To enhance listening skills in a relationship, The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships” by Michael P. Nichols provides strategies for effective communication and truly hearing your partner.