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When it comes to relationships, cheating is a very painful experience. It is one of the most painful things that you can deal with in regard to love, and even though we tend to think it merely means the person is a bad seed, there is a multitude of reasons why people cheat.


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Now, with that being said, just because there is a reason does not excuse the fact that the person has cheated. No one deserves to be cheated on, I do not care who they are, however, I am not here to judge, but instead to define the typical reasons why people cheat. If you have ever been cheated on, you know firsthand that it is a complex situation. With that said, here are 9 reasons why people cheat.

1. Revenge.

Often, cheating can be a ‘revenge’ tactic used by one partner when they have been cheated on or feel like they have otherwise been done wrong. For example, if a husband feels like his wife is not giving him the right attention or if he found out his wife has cheated, he may choose to seek revenge by cheating.

2. Falling out of love.

While in optimal circumstances, if a person fell out of love, they would end the relationship, life is not always optimal. Sometimes, individuals with poor relational skills will choose to venture out before giving up.

To better understand the dynamics of falling in and out of love, Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love can provide scientific insights into these complex emotions.

3. Feeling unwanted.

When a partner begins to feel unwanted or unloved, they may seek love elsewhere. For example, if a wife is always being blown off by her husband and spends much of her time alone, she may get lonely and thus, venture out to cheat.

4. Commitment issues.

Those who have a hard time with commitment may end up cheating. In a perfect world, if a person had these issues they would be upfront, but there again, this is not a perfect world. Unfortunately, sometimes, people believe they are emotionally available when in reality they are not.

Those struggling with commitment may find He’s Scared, She’s Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships to be a useful read.

5. Lack of sexual connection.

Everything in a relationship can be right, but if the sexual connection is off, one or both partners may venture off to other people. This is often the result of feeling unsatisfied sexually.

6. Lack of boundaries.

When a partner lacks boundaries with others, it can be disastrous. For example, a partner may have a hard time saying no and embark on a path with someone who has deeper intentions. Before they even realize what is happening, they are involved with someone else, and of course, because this is cheating, their partner ends up hurt.

7. Unresolved childhood issues.

When we grow up in traumatic circumstances, it can change us and make our relationship skills lacking. For many, this can end up resurfacing in relationships down the line, and the traumatized partner may end up making bad trauma-influenced decisions.

8. Sex addiction.

People who have a sexually compulsive demeanor tend to cheat more often than those who don’t. Much like drug addicts, they have little control over their behaviors. However, this can be especially painful for their partner.

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction can provide a deeper understanding of this condition and ways to manage it.

9. Addiction.

Drugs and alcohol can make people act in ways they would not otherwise act. For example, some may get so drunk they do not realize what they are doing and end up harming their partner. Drugs can do the same thing.

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