Finding the right life partner can seem daunting. And after a string of wrong partners, many people wonder if the right person even exists. I am here to tell you they do, and finding them may be easier than you realize.

Time and time again, we are told that love is like a fairy tale. We may believe that it’s all about chance and luck, but honestly – that couldn’t be further from the truth. Finding the right partner has more to do with our approach to love and our mindset surrounding it than it does anything.

One of the most important things to remember along this journey is that while finding the right person may seem like a race in which you must rush to the finish line, it’s important not to approach it that way. Oftentimes, we are so concerned with finding someone, that we settle for Mr. or Mrs. right now instead of waiting on Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Here are 9 ways to help you attract the right person.

1. Define what you are looking for in a partner.

Oftentimes, we set out to find the right one, without understanding what exactly that means. Sit down, and make a list of what you want from a partner. Not only does this help you to manifest this partner, due to the law of attraction, it also sets an intention in your mind. Once that intention is set, you won’t likely settle for less.

2. Be mindful of your vibration. (Apply the checklist you have for a partner to yourself.)

Like attracts like. When finding a partner, it’s important to align yourself with someone that has similar values, similar beliefs, and similar goals. Hold yourself to the same standard you hold your perfect partner, and rather than rushing to find anyone- work on yourself first. It may seem cliché’ but it’s the truth.

3. Have confidence in yourself.

Have you ever been around someone who had no confidence in themselves? Confident people know their value, and when you know your value, others recognize this. Don’t confuse confidence with cockiness, though.

4. Let go of what you don’t want.

In so many cases, we continue spending time with people we know are never going to have a future with. And when you are hung up on the wrong person, it closes you off to the right person.

5. Set healthy boundaries.

To have a healthy relationship, you must set boundaries. If someone’s behavior doesn’t sit right with you, let them know. If someone isn’t the right fit for you, normalize letting this be known. Once you start saying no to what doesn’t work for you, you will open the doors for what does.

6. Practice self-love and self-care.

It has been said that we attract the love we believe we deserve. And I believe there is much truth to this. Regardless, when you practice self-love and self-care, it helps you to build confidence and improves your self-esteem. And these acts of self-love are what builds a firm foundation for us to rely on when everything else in life doesn’t seem to be working out.

7. Learn to cut your losses.

When dating, we will meet many people, and some of those people just won’t be the right ones. It can be difficult to say, “I’m sorry, you just aren’t the right fit for me.” But it’s necessary. It’s important to cut your losses and move forward from the wrong fit to find the right one.

8. Don’t rush.

Life isn’t a competition, and it’s important to realize your journey is just that, your journey. Don’t make finding love by a certain age your main priority, and don’t miss out on the best parts of life by being preoccupied with finding someone. I know that isn’t easy- but finding the right person isn’t a race.

9. Make friends first.

Not only is friendship the backbone of every good relationship, but building friendships is also an important part of your journey. And in many cases, we often realize later into a deep friendship that you’ve been attracting the right one all along, and just didn’t realize it.

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