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Sometimes, even the most seemingly innocent behaviors we partake in can set our relationships up to fail. Sadly, in turn, marriages quickly fail, and relationships fizzle out before they ever have the chance to grow- but if you are open to accepting that you are wrong and change, then keep reading.

If your partner comes to you and tells you there is a problem, you should listen. Because while you may not intend to make your partner feel hurt, or unimportant- if you aren’t completely considering them, then you could end up sabotaging yourself. Read the following list after setting your ego aside.

When you meet someone that you love and want to be with, you must be open to compromise, growth and evolving into a way of being that benefits the two of you as a couple. If you are currently experiencing what seems to be a difficult time in your relationship, you may find your answer in the following.

1. You are independent to a fault.

The most important part of a relationship is learning to be with someone else. And while you should have your own life, it shouldn’t consume you so much that your partner becomes second to your friends and hobbies. If that is the type of life you prefer, you may be more suited for the single life.

2. You make everyone else a priority over your partner.

It’s wonderful to do nice things for your friends and family and to be there for others. But, if you take care of everyone else constantly, you and your partner will both fall behind and be left on the backburner. Learn to say no when it means taking care of your priorities, which should include self-care and quality time with the one you love

3. Becoming too comfortable.

In relationships, it can be easy to grow comfortable with the fact that your partner does certain things for you, and accepts you no matter what. In turn, we overlook the little things they do and stop appreciating them. And sometimes we let ourselves go and stop caring about how we look or doing special things for them to make them feel appreciated. If this is you, you may need to change your behaviors.

4. Assuming you know your partner’s mindset.

Never assume you know what your partner means, and if there is any doubt- take the time to clarify. Misunderstandings and lapses in communication can spin out of control quickly.

5. Expecting your partner to believe in the same things as you at the expense of their core values.

When you get into a relationship, the first thing you need to ask is ‘Does this person believe in or participate in something that directly conflicts with my core values?’ And if they do, it may cause problems. However, you can love someone and accept that they are not going to be exactly like you. For this to work, though, you cannot ask them to do or believe in things that they don’t. It isn’t fair, and it won’t end well.

6. Expecting your partner to complete you.

It is not up to your partner to fill the blanks of your life or to make you feel whole. That is your job. Of course, your partner should provide you with love and support, but they should not be responsible for your happiness.

7. You refuse to communicate.

Communication can make the difference between a happy relationship and a miserable one. If you are unsure of how to communicate, remember this: listen to how they feel, understand that just because you don’t think they should feel a certain way doesn’t mean they won’t, and DO NOT ever attack them personally. Using terms like “You always,” or “You never,” will kill your relationship with a quickness.

8. You don’t have sex regularly.

Sex may not be the most important thing, but it is important! When you stop having sex with your partner regularly and ignore their desires and interest in doing so, it could lead to several related issues. If your partner expresses interest in improving your sex life, don’t shut them out.

9. Ignoring your spouse and focusing on social media instead.

If your partner tries to spend time with you, and you are constantly on Facebook or Instagram – they are going to feel like your phone is more interesting and worthy of your attention than they are.