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Most people would assume that it would be obvious if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, however, if you assume that, then you likely have not been in one. At the end of the day, narcissists are typically pretty cunning when it comes to how they launch their cycle of abuse.

In the beginning, narcissists tend to act their very best. They know how to get people to like them, and even love them, and oftentimes, they are quite charming. However, their facade soon begins to wear off, leaving their partner reeling at what has happened. In many ways, they manipulate their partners and even the rest of the world into believing they are good people. But, as the mask continues to slip off, they begin to give themselves away.

Here are 9 signs of narcissistic abuse in relationships to never ignore.

1. They try to control you.

Narcissists like to control everyone around them, even in subtle ways. Examples of this are when a narcissistic partner makes passive-aggressive jabs at their partner, to get them to change or do things their way. In other cases, they may even be outright about their attempts to control you.

2. They gaslight.

Gaslighting is when a narcissist works to make their partner feel as though their perceptions are incorrect. They will work to try to make their partner feel crazy because it puts them in control.

3. They project.

Narcissists will do some shady things. They will lie, cheat and steal if it means they get to be in a better place in life or if it benefits them in any way. However, they will accuse their partners of doing exactly what they are doing, either as an attempt to throw their partner off track or because in their minds, they assume everyone is like them.

4. They nitpick.

Narcissists are hyper-critical of others, especially their partners. Nothing their partner ever does will ever be enough, or will ever make them truly happen. They will nag and nag and criticize and criticize until they break their partner down.

5. They sabotage you.

Narcissists do not like to see their partners win. Instead of being supportive of a new job or new opportunity, they will sabotage their partners.

6. They socially isolate you.

One way in which a narcissist gains control is by isolating their partner. They will stir up fights and drama between their partner and their friends and family, to get their partner isolated. In their mind, if their partner is isolated, then they can do whatever they please.

7. They verbally abuse.

Narcissists are quite abusive, almost always verbally and in some cases in other ways. They will call their partner awful names, use their vulnerabilities against them and berate them.

8. They intimidate.

While not all narcissists are physically abusive, most of them will do whatever it takes to feel in control. One way they do this is by intimidating their partners. They will corner them up, buck up against them, or otherwise intimidate them because they feel like the threat of violence will push their partner to comply with their wishes.

9. They turn the tables.

When a narcissist is confronted, they turn the tables. Every abusive action they make is excused or rationalized by any behavior of their partner. For example, if they are caught cheating, they may say they did it because their partner did something to them. No matter what they do, there is always an excuse for their bad behavior.