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As a mother, I share a special connection with my daughter. She is like a piece of my soul, but sometimes, we don’t see eye to eye.

Especially as she reaches her teen years, we have had some difficulty in understanding one another. Due to this, I have been focusing more on making sure that we have an unshakable bond. As parents, we sometimes focus more on being a parent and telling and instructing our children on what to do. However, it’s just as important to listen, understand, and support them throughout their development.

If you are wanting to build your relationship with your daughter, a great first step is to work on the bond that you share. Here are 9 questions to help you do that.

1. What would you like me to know most about you?

The response may lead you nowhere, but it could also help you to understand your daughter more. While we may often assume we know it all, when it comes to our kids, that is not always the truth. Just like us, our kids have a rich inner life, and unless you ask, there may be a lot you are missing.

2. What are your thoughts?

As parents, we don’t always ask our kids what they think, but we should. Kids are often treated as though their thoughts do not matter, which is disheartening because we should be pressing them to hear what is going on in their minds. Not to be nosy, but because their thoughts are important, too.

3. What is your favorite song right now?

Music is a key to our soul, and oftentimes, our favorite song has a lot to say about what is going on in our lives. When you ask your child about the song they can’t help but listen to on repeat, you are opening a door that will allow you to understand them more.

4. Is there anything you would like to know more about?

Our daughters are like sponges, but sometimes, they may hesitate to ask us their biggest questions. To help you to understand, ask her what she would like to know more about. This conversation could help you to support her when she needs it most.

5. Do you realize how amazing you are?

Always remind your daughter how much she means to you. The world is not always kind to girls, and life can be really scary. By reminding her of how much she means to you and as a person, you are helping her to gain confidence in herself.

6. What matters most to you?

You might assume you know the answer, but she may surprise you. We often assume we know everything about our kids, but they do not share everything with us. This is why it’s so important to build a good bond.

7. What is your biggest dream in life?

Do you remember being a young woman and having dreams and aspirations that you were dying to tell someone about? The trouble is, not everyone cares to listen, so it’s easy to get disenchanted with your dreams. Help your daughter to keep that spark lit by inquiring about what ignites her passions in life.

8. How can I help you right now?

Our kids will not always be quick to ask for our help, especially on big issues. They may be fearful we won’t understand or that we don’t care. Make sure your daughter knows you care.

9. What do you want to talk about?

A lot of times, adults lead the conversation and listen little to what their kids want to discuss. Show your daughter that what she has to say matters, too, by asking her what she wants to talk about.