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Relationships can be chaotic, there’s no doubt about that. But there is a major difference between a healthy, mature relationship and an unhealthy and immature one.

If you’ve ever been in love, you already know that no matter how good the relationship is, things can get complicated. When we are in the midst of a passionate relationship, feeling head over heels in love, it can be easy to overlook the fact that the relationship we are in is one that comes from a place of immature love.

If you are unsure of what the differences between mature love and immature love are, here are 9 important differences.

1. Mature love is trusting, immature love is jealous.

Mature love understands that trust is necessary for a happy and healthy relationship. It isn’t jealous, crazy, or overbearing. People in mature relationships know that they have to have trust in their partner, or else they have nothing.

2. Mature love is relaxed, immature love is obsessive.

Mature relationships are relaxed. There are lulls, but that’s okay because they are comfortable not forced. If you are in a relationship in which you constantly feel the need to obsess over your partner, you are not in a mature relationship.

3. Mature love understands everyone has faults, immature love places their partner on a pedestal.

People have faults, there’s no debating that. And while it may seem noble to think that your partner is perfect, it’s not healthy. Placing your partner on a pedestal is only going to lead you to disappointment. Realize that your partner is human, and expect them to realize the same about you.

4. Mature love gives you what you need, immature love leaves you wanting something more.

In a mature relationship, you are going to have your needs met. You will feel satisfied and content, rather than feeling like you are in a constant struggle. If you have to beg to have your needs met, that isn’t mature love.

5. Mature relationships recognize two individuals, immature love strives to be one complete person.

Many people enter into a relationship and try to meld themselves into a single blob. They spend every waking moment together, never let each other out of the other’s sight and monitor each other’s every move. Healthy and mature relationships recognize two separate individuals who are together, but not one being.

6. Mature relationships motivate you, immature relationships break down your drive.

In a mature relationship, you will be driven to be a better person. You will feel inspired to be the best version of yourself. However, in an immature relationship, you will lose sight of your goals, your ambition, and your vision.

7. Mature relationships know themselves, immature relationships are trying to find themselves.

People in immature relationships enter into them with the belief that they aren’t a complete person. They seek out a partner for validation and to feel complete. Those in a mature relationship realize they are already a whole person.

8. Mature relationships enjoy meeting other people, immature relationships are threatened by everyone else.

People in a mature relationship aren’t threatened by their partner having a friend. In fact, they know that it’s necessary to have a social life outside of their relationship. Whereas someone in an immature relationship is threatened by anyone who comes around their partner.

9. Mature love is drama-free, immature love is chaos.

In a mature relationship, there is no drama. Yes, there may be fights, but that’s normal. An immature relationship is filled with drama and constant chaos. There’s jealousy, two people who are obsessive and insecure, and two people who don’t know or understand what real love is about. Mature love is comfortable and supportive.