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Being in an unhealthy relationship is by far one of the most difficult things to endure. Not only does it hurt emotionally, but over time, it can completely wreck your self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Even worse, is the fact that our first instinct is to fight for a relationship because we are in love. When we love someone, we don’t want to give up. However, there is a fine line between a relationship worth fighting for, and one that will only tear us apart. If you have started to wonder if your relationship is healthy or not, or you simply are starting to realize that something may be off, check for these signs.

1. There is a lack of support.

Mutual support is extremely important in a relationship. Without support, the relationship becomes a power struggle and in some cases, a war zone. In healthy relationships, partners support and encourage each other. Otherwise, the relationship becomes a competition, which is very unhealthy.

2. Communication is toxic.

Rather than being met with love and kindness, the communication between you and your partner has turned to contempt. When you talk, you are both passive-aggressive, shut down, or even resort to hateful comments.

3. One or both of you try to control the other.

To have a healthy relationship, both partners have to recognize the other’s autonomy. People need to have an individual identity. In relationships where one or both partners are constantly checking up on each other, or telling the other what they do, it places stress on the relationship. Eventually, the relationship will fall apart. Either that or the control can turn to abuse.

4. Co-dependence is present.

While many people may think of co-dependence as a good thing, it is not. Co-dependence happens when you don’t necessarily love each other, but depend on one another for other reasons. Because of this, you may feel obsessive or even over-attached to this person to the extent of not being able to lead your own life.

5. You monitor each other.

If you have to monitor your partner, they are not the person for you. Trust is fundamental to a relationship, and when you begin looking through your partner’s phone daily, or placing GPS trackers on their vehicle, something isn’t right.

6. It feels hostile.

Relationships should not feel hostile. If every discussion turns into an all-out brawl, and you are both constantly picking fights, this is not a good sign. While it’s normal for people to get hostile at times, staying that way is a sign of a toxic or unhealthy relationship.

7. You feel isolated.

In toxic or unhealthy relationships, one or both partners may work to isolate the other. When new friends or old friends come around, they find reasons for them to not come around anymore. Or they may pick fights between you and your friends and family, to push them out of your life. If your friends and family have been pushed out of your life by your partner, it’s time to rethink your relationship.

8. Your partner has made it clear they only value one thing about you.

For example, if your partner has said they are only with you because you make good money, this is bad. Or, they may say that they are only with you because the sex is great. Whatever the case may be, this translates to “I’m using you for _____.”