When it comes to cheating most people think of the actual physical acts that can come with it, but that doesn’t mean that’s all cheating is. Cheating can be a lot of things, and some of those things we may consider harmless without really thinking too much into them.
One of the most common and easily most damaging forms of cheating is emotional cheating. Rather than just hooking up with someone because you’re attracted to them, you build an emotional bond with them and connect with them on a very real level. This without the physical stuff, harmless at first, the more this progresses the more prominent it appears that you are having an emotional affair.
To navigate the complexities of emotional infidelity and strengthen your relationship, it’s essential to equip yourself with resources that can offer guidance and insight. Consider exploring books like “Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity“ by Shirley P. Glass. This resource delves deep into the intricate dynamics of emotional affairs, providing valuable advice for those entangled in them.
Now, for those who might be a bit confused, emotional affairs are something that we call situations in which someone invests more of their emotional energy from someone outside of the relationship and gains the same in return. You may feel closer to this person than your actual partner and in many ways present your connection with them as if it were a companionship even though you’re not with this person. It’s like having a close friend but to the extreme and can make your partner quite upset for a number of reasons. It is also important to note that while you may never engage in physical activity together, there is usually an increasing sexual tension in these kinds of situations.
Emotional infidelity can be a confusing realm, with many not realizing they’re treading on dangerous territory until it’s too late. “The Emotional Affair: How to Recognize Emotional Infidelity and What to Do About It” by Ronald T. Potter-Efron and Patricia S. Potter-Efron offers a comprehensive look into the signs, repercussions, and ways to overcome this form of betrayal.
When you find yourself in this kind of affair, you are disrespecting your partner and really messing things up more than you realize. What you consider to be harmless can easily ruin your whole relationship. As couples, we are supposed to be there for one another emotionally (and in all other ways). If you are putting all of your efforts into the ‘connection’ you have with this other person, your partner is without a doubt falling through the cracks.
Below, I am going to go over some of the more common signs that you might be in an emotional affair. If these signs are present in your life and true for you then you need to really stop and think for a minute about what you’re doing and where you want things to go. If you want to remain as you are with your partner, you need to do the right thing and cut this emotional affair off.
8 Signs You’re Having An Emotional Affair:
1. You feel like this friend understands you better than your partner.
You don’t feel like you can go to your partner to discuss the things with him/her that you discuss with this friend. Rather than being capable of sharing things with your partner, you’re very closed off. You tell this friend everything and your partner virtually nothing.
2. You hide things about this friendship from your partner.
You do not tell your partner much about this friend or sharing things that you do together. You hide this friend from your partner so that he/she doesn’t see just how serious this ‘friendship’ is. It’s like hiding a crush from your parents when you’re a school child.
Rather than coming home and telling your wife about your bad day, you would rather vent to this friend on the phone as you’re on your way home. You don’t share things with your partner anymore and you’re both having quite empty conversation when speaking to one another. Your partner feels as though you’re hiding things and you have to keep asserting that you’re not.
Keeping communication open and transparent is vital in any relationship. For couples looking to rebuild trust and foster understanding, “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson might be a beneficial read. It emphasizes the importance of emotional connection and provides practical exercises to reinforce the bond between partners.
4. You and your partner are quite distant from one another.
Things between you and your partner have changed. There is a clear distance between the two of you and your partner keeps bringing it up. You don’t open up, and you don’t bother to hear your partner out anymore.
5. You want to be in contact with this ‘friend’ all the time and choose to speak with him/her over your partner.
You find yourself talking to this friend more than you do anyone else. You would rather tell him/her about your day than your partner and tend to do exactly that. You’re always in contact, and you make sure to keep things hidden overall.
6. Communication with your partner is shallow at best right now.
You and your partner do not speak as much as you should. When you talk to one another, there is a clear disconnect. It’s like the two of you are unable to get on the same page, and your partner is quite curious as to why this is happening.
7. No matter how frustrated your partner gets with the situation, you keep saying things like ‘we’re just friends.’
If your partner finds out about this friend, no matter how much you argue over the situation, you will constantly say things like ‘we’re just friends.’ While it is quite clear that either you or the friend want to be more than friends, you refuse to come to terms with it. You might even feel attacked by your partner as a result.
8. You are not engaging intimately with your partner anymore.
You and your partner are not intimate with each other anymore. Instead of snuggling up and enjoying one another’s company, you are both just sleeping in the same room without much contact physically. This can do serious damage to the relationship as a whole.