People are not always what they appear to be, and it’s important to realize that. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but in the end, sometimes it’s better to see things and people for what they are.
First and foremost, what is breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing is what people do when they are unsure of what they want from you, but know they want to keep you around. They might not have serious intentions with you, but because it benefits them in some way to keep you around they toss you some proverbial breadcrumbs from time to time, to keep you interested.
To the person experiencing this, it can look like many different things, but the feeling it will leave will have you wondering where you stand. You might feel like it’s a relationship, because of the breadcrumbs they leave, but when it comes down to it, you will likely realize that something is missing. Here are 8 signs you are being breadcrumbed.
1. They are very hot/cold.
One minute, you may feel like they love you and want to be with you, only for them to completely pull back and disappear in the next. It’s very confusing, and you never know where you stand with them. Even worse, they always leave you feeling disappointed. To navigate these confusing dynamics, “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is a valuable resource. It offers insights into different attachment styles and how they affect relationships.
2. You always have to initiate contact.
Communication and contact are always left to you. There might be a rare occasion when they take the initiative, but it’s not enough for it to be considered consistent. Communication and contact are always left to you. In such situations, “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg can help you communicate your needs more effectively and understand the underlying issues in communication.
3. They are seeing other people.
They have made it obvious that the connection is not exclusive. They might say that they intend to settle down with you, one day, but they never really act accordingly. Be wary of someone who is still dating others and keeping you on their line.
4. They keep talking about the future, but make no effort.
They are a lot of talks but no follow-through. They may speak of the future and things they intend to do, but their actions never align with their words. Put simply, they are a lot of talks.
5. They seem intentionally vague.
When it comes to labeling things, they keep it vague. Honestly, everything feels pretty vague from their intentions and their feelings. When someone is always vague with you, it’s because they don’t want to tell you how they feel. “Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg explores the challenges of modern dating, including dealing with vagueness and the evolving language of relationships.
6. You feel like a booty call.
They only ever make an effort when they want something, especially sex. If they want sex, they are quick to blow your phone up at 3:00 am, but as soon as it’s all said and done, they are ignoring you yet again.
7. They put their lack of commitment on you.
When you bring up how you feel about the connection, they blame you. If only you were _______, or if only you would do _______, there’s always something you should be doing to change so they can be with you. Be wary of someone who won’t commit, but tends to blame everyone else for it. To strengthen your response to such situations, “Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend can be a helpful guide.
8. The connection is inconsistent.
Overall, the connection is inconsistent. One day it may get intense only for it to fizzle out for days and weeks. When it does fizzle out, you may wonder when you will ever hear from them again, and then when you do, you think that everything is back on again.