Finding a good relationship is one of the most prominent goals on our journey in life, and sometimes, no matter how much we may want a relationship to work, it simply won’t. Of course, when a marriage is doomed for failure, there are most definitely signs.
While it may be tempting to overlook the signs and pretend like everything is okay, it’s best not to. When we overlook the red flags raging right in our face, we are not making the outcome of our relationship any better. However, when you face the problems between you, you are better able to either overcome them or save yourself a lot of wasted energy, time, and heartache.
Here are 8 tell-tell signs that a relationship is heading towards divorce.
1. They communicate contempt.
Everyone fights in a relationship sometimes, however, when simple fights turn into hate wars, there’s a problem. There will be times when we say things we don’t mean to our partner, but contempt is something else entirely. “Contempt is a genuine devaluing and disrespect for the other person,” explains Raffi Bilek, a marriage counselor and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center. “Respect is essential in a marriage, and it can still exist even in the face of disagreement or anger. But, when you see your spouse as someone unworthy of your respect, your marriage is likely to go downhill from there.”
2. Communication ends.
Another indicator that a marriage will fail is when communication has halted. Fights can be worked through, but when the couple stops talking to each other and communicating how they feel, it’s almost impossible to fix the relationship.
3. Lack of physical intimacy.
Intimacy is important in a marriage. Normal life stressors like chaotic work schedules, having children, and other stressful events may sometimes cause a reduction in affection. However, when the affection and intimacy begin dwindling to nothing, it can also be a sign of a major relationship problem. And it can be a vicious cycle because when partners become sexually frustrated, they are more likely to seek intimacy outside of the relationship.
4. They avoid one another.
When one or both partners are constantly looking for excuses to avoid the other it’s a bad sign. That means that you no longer want to be around them, or that you value time apart more than time together. This is likely because a major problem is present in the relationship.
5. Friends and family are urging the couple to call it quits.
Oftentimes, our family can see things we refuse to see. While we may be blinded to where our marriage is headed, our family can see things we are willfully in denial about. And when your family and friends are all saying that your marriage is over, it’s likely they are right and that we should listen.
6. One partner has an addiction and won’t seek treatment.
Addiction is tragic and robs many families and partners of the person they love dearly. When one of the married partners has an addiction that they refuse to seek treatment for, it will end up destroying the marriage. However, if the person is willing to accept treatment and honestly work on themselves, there might be hope.
7. Apathy replaces love.
When love is replaced by apathy, it’s a bad sign. Most people assume that when partners fight a lot, it means their marriage is over, but fighting means there is enough love left to fight for. But, when the two people in the relationship stop caring entirely, the marriage is most definitely nearing failure.
8. One partner is stonewalling the other.
It’s impossible to make a marriage work when one partner not only doesn’t see a problem, but completely shuts down and refuses to communicate. When one partner becomes a stonewall, there is absolutely no way to save the marriage.